Week 35 : Uhhh can I get a different mom?

When I was a teenager, it wasn’t uncommon for me to yell that “I didn’t want to be born! Nobody asked me if I wanted to be born!” Usually this happened right before I slammed my door and cried my eyes out into a pillow because my parents wouldn’t let me stay out past midnight.

At the beginning of my pregnancy, nine months seemed like a really long time. Anytime I had concerns about the baby or parenting, I’d remind myself that it was a long time away.

But here, at 35 weeks, having a baby isn’t that far away anymore! Considering that 36 or 37 weeks is when many doctors won’t stop you from going into labor, the actual having of the baby moment is getting pretty close.

I don’t know how many times I cried because I was sure my baby would “hate me.” I know I’m not alone. I have a friend who, at 38 weeks, worried that her baby would, in fact, hate her.

It doesn’t exactly make sense that our babies would hate us. I’ve never met a baby in my life that hated its mother. If anything, babies love their mothers more than anyone else in the world. We are the mamas! We are mommy!

I’m going to go out on a limb and blame it on the hormones. Let me tell it like it is: Your baby will not hate you. It is not going to want a different mom. It isn’t going to open its eyes, give you a once over and act embarrassed.

It will at least have the decency to wait until it is a teenager to do that.

1. bronnie wrote:

   I love this article... I knwo when I was a first time mom I had those thoughts running through my head... Who doesnt.. But all in all it is so true.. You are the world to a baby.. You are everything they need desire and want... You are a mom...
   
   Now for the teenage years... ha can they stay little...lol

   Comment on 2nd Nov '06 @ 11:01 amThis comment is 1

2. Jeni wrote:

   Well, on one side of this I do have to agree that it is quite possibly the hormones. I blame EVERYTHING on the hormones.. even when I know it can't POSSIBLY have anything to do with hormones. However, I never had the fear that my baby hated me.. until he turned two and started to do random rediculous things. I myself am at 35 weeks and I think the one thing I fear the most is having ANOTHER baby who prefers his daddy over me. :-)

   Comment on 26th Jan '07 @ 10:11 amThis comment is 1

3. Shy wrote:

   Im not worried about my baby loving me at all. BLAME IT ON THE HORMONES!

   Comment on 22nd Feb '07 @ 6:43 pmThis comment is 1

4. Karoll wrote:

   thats what i was thinking for a while im 35 weeks and so nervouse if my son would like me..but thanx to ur article made me think different..im a teen mom and the last thing i wanted was for my child hate me..thanx for the article now i dont have to worry until he's a teen..lol..

   Comment on 8th Mar '07 @ 12:17 pmThis comment is 1

5. Jamie wrote:

   I don't think about my baby hating me..that's not crossed my mind at all. I used to say sometimes with my last baby after being around each other all day long, "She's getting tired of me" or "She's sick of me".

   Comment on 9th Apr '07 @ 12:29 pmThis comment is 1

6. Chrissy wrote:

   I didn't have those concerns but I understand them very much I worry with my to toddlers if they hate me sometimes and I guess they will tell me when they are teenagers and they way they say "that's not fair" now when they are 3 and 5 I am sure they will tell me!!

   Comment on 9th May '07 @ 7:25 amThis comment is 1

7. Anne wrote:

   I don't think I've ever worried during pregnancy about my baby hating me. Being a good enough mom, maybe, but . . .
   
   No, I just wish I could keep them tiny forever, though. My oldest is already at the whole, "I want to go to my Daddy's forever; he's not mean like you!" stage, about ten years ahead of schedule! I blame HER tiny little hormones, and then mine for reacting! I'm just glad she (and occasionally her two-year-old sister!) don't actually HAVE doors to slam on me! I'm looking forward to having that brief time with one who WON'T argue with me over every little thing, and dreading the fact that all three of my daughters will be teenagers together!

   Comment on 12th Jul '07 @ 9:37 pmThis comment is 1

8. Jacquie wrote:

   Just for kicks--ladies, when your teenager says to you "I didn't ask to be born!" Just yell back, "Well if you would have, I'd have said NO!" Hehehe

   Comment on 27th Jul '07 @ 4:40 pmThis comment is 1

9. Mark wrote:

   Wow, that was one of the most touching and interesting comments I've ever read. Nice insight.

   Comment on 14th Aug '07 @ 10:07 pmThis comment is 1

10. Deana. wrote:

    Haha, no, but when they hit teen years I'm sure they'll be popping that off at all of us a lot. If, my some act of God trying to punish me for what hell I put my mother through, my son is anything like I was. I'll be hearing that a lot.

    Comment on 22nd Aug '07 @ 12:11 pmThis comment is 1

11. Deana. wrote:

    Oh, and I wouldn't be surprised if it were hormones. Those things are brutal, I've went off on quite a few people not realizing it because of them. It wasn't a pretty sight, thank god I'm almost there.

    Comment on 22nd Aug '07 @ 12:15 pmThis comment is 1

12. Katelyn wrote:

    I laughed out loud while reading this because it reminded me of me sometimes with my mother. It has never crossed my mind that my children will do that to me. If they do, that is okay, I guess, it is normal to act like that sometimes. If I did that 40 years ago, and kids are doing that now, then .....I like Jacquie comments. I think that is a good one. Congrats to all of you and your bundles of joy.

    Comment on 29th Aug '07 @ 9:08 amThis comment is 1

13. Wendy wrote:

    This article hit home and made me laugh. I haven't had these concerns lately (I'm at 35 weeks), but during my second trimester I had constant dreams that my baby didn't like me, turned his head away when I tried to pick him up, and said, "NO, Wendy" (he wouldn't even call me "mommy"). Glad to know that I'm not alone.

    Comment on 14th Sep '07 @ 3:14 pmThis comment is 1

14. Ara wrote:

    When I was pregnant with my first I woke up in the middle of the night in a panic. As the tears just came pouring out with gasping sobs I was finally able to get out to my partner what was wrong. "I'm going to have a teenager!!!" I'm serious. That was a very frightening thought! :D So I can relate :D

    Comment on 15th Oct '07 @ 9:33 amThis comment is 1

15. Melissa wrote:

    In the beginning I was worried about things like this. Weather I would be a good mom and If my kid would wish she had other Parents.. But Now I am just worried about how bad its gonna hurt. I'm sure we will be great Parents and Will love her unconditionally

    Comment on 15th Oct '07 @ 11:02 amThis comment is 1

16. Shawnika wrote:

    I haven't had any thoughts of my baby not liking me or looking at me different from anyone else who wasn't going to be his real parent. I just have dreams about having a C-Section mostly 3 nights a week!!! Yes, your baby will only know you and not hate you because he knows your voice the most and knows you were always there for him/her when he wanted food or was thristy! So take it as though you will have someone to who trully loves you and can't just tell you that like some people in your lives who don't mean, he/she will mean it!!!!

    Comment on 29th Nov '07 @ 8:45 amThis comment is 1

17. aurablue wrote:

    i fully agree but um what if you're adopted like I was than you do look at em and are embarrased

    Comment on 8th Dec '07 @ 9:52 amThis comment is 1

18. Skylar wrote:

    What does being adopted have anything to do with it aurablue? Your mother is your mother and babies aren't even developed enough to BE embarrassed anyways, so this really is just a hormonal thing us mommies have to get through!
    
    On the other hand, I do wake up at night freaking out about not doing something right or hurting my baby somehow, it's so scary being a first-timer!

    Comment on 26th Dec '07 @ 7:04 amThis comment is 1

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20. Lori wrote:

    I hate to tell you all, but it won't take until the teenage years for them to tell you they hate you. They'll do that when they're 5 years old, but since they're manic about those thoughts they'll tell you they love you and you're the best mom ever just 5 minutes later.

    Comment on 16th Jan '08 @ 5:04 amThis comment is 1

21. Jasmine wrote:

    I was thinking the samething what if my baby hates me im glad im not the only one going crazy!!!

    Comment on 12th Feb '08 @ 3:32 pmThis comment is 1

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