The Sarcastic Journalist is a freelance writer and mother of two living near Houston, Texas. She has a degree in journalism and an addiction to magazines. She is hoping never to experience the "joy" of pregnancy again. You can find much more of her home-grown snark at: shenuts.com
In addition to recounting 40 not-so-glowing but hilarious weeks of her pregnancy for our pregnancy calendar the Sarcastic Journalist used her sarcasm super-powers to help make our new edgy sarcastic pregnancy tickers. Check 'em out!
Week 33 : Breast mother EVER!
I never intended to breastfeed my children. To be perfectly honest, breastfeeding seemed incredibly gross. Why would I ever want to put a baby to the old “fun bag?” Well, the cost of formula, not to mention the health benefits, convinced me to at least give it a try.
Many women, much like myself, decide to go to a breastfeeding basics class before having a baby. The only problem with these classes is that explaining to someone how to breastfeed a baby is kind of like explaining how to ride a bike. Think of it; what would you say to someone that needed to learn to ride a bike? “Sit on the bike and start peddling!”
Well, get a baby and put it to your boob. Ingenious, right?
I’m not sure why they offer these breastfeeding classes. The only thing my breastfeeding class did was scare the crap out of me. “You want me to put a baby’s mouth WHERE?”
At the very end of my breastfeeding course, the instructor, a lady that seemed to enjoy her pillow that looked exactly like a breast a little too much, decided to show the class a video. A video of women breastfeeding. A video showing the nipples of women that I do not know. Nipples inside babies’ mouths.
I left that class, crying. “It looked like a big, wet Snickers bar!” I sobbed into my husband’s chest. “I. Can’t. Breastfeeeeeed!”
The funniest part of this story is that I ended up exclusively pumping for my first child for seven months and exclusively breastfeeding my second. So, if you’re thinking about it, give it a try.
Yes, it will “hurt” at the beginning as your body gets used to having a baby gnaw on your nipple. Yes, your boobs are going to get really big. And yes, it does get easier as time passes.
Just be prepared for the complete and total stranger manhandling your boobie in the hospital. They don’t tell you about that in breastfeeding class.
| << previous week | comments (80) | next week >> |
I love the humor, as well. I breastfed my two girls, in fact, I breastfed my eldest throughout my pregnancy with my second child and tandem nursed them for three months, something I swore I would never do. I was very fortunate and I realize that not all women are so lucky. Part of my luck was a lot of education and a huge support network. (La Leche League, in my case) And yes, it hurt like the dickens with my first daughter, but with education and practice, it got much better. And yes, I did get a little man-handled by a nurse in the maternity ward, but when I went in to deliver my second child, I had the same nurse and she was such a big help, it was amazing.
I think this is the most honest view I have ever heard from a successfully breastfeeding mom. I'm sick of hearing all the romanticized stories about breastfeeding and how awesome it is. I like that you kept it so "real" in this account.
I think this is hilarious. Although I plan to do it, the thought of breast feeding is not particularly appealing to me. It seems every time I try to read up on baby facts, there is a picture of someone's boob stuck in a baby's mouth. Seriously, it is just too much!
To those of you who find the above posting "immature" or can't possibly imagine how she feels, please imagine how you would feel if receiving the same kind of feedback after sharing personal information about yourself. What is the point of even leaving a comment if it's degrading? She didn't say anything harmful or negative - she simply shared her own experiences. I have to wonder about your motivation behind making comments that help no one in any way.
"Opinions are like A$$H0ls ... everyone has one and most of the time they stink" Unknown ... Not everything is right for everyone.. thank goodness we live in a place where we can all have them.. Who cares if you think her attitude is immature.. so what if it is.. Are YOUR children and parenting style PERFECT??? If they are how would you know? And how do you know that it is right for anyone else? And for anyone who doesnt think that hospital staff who have seen umpteen billion patients that month might forget their bedside manner and "manhandle" someone because they think they know better how to do something than the patient does... get over yourself, go candystriper for a week or 2 and see how a hospital really runs, because some people DO "get manhandled". That doesnt mean that they are not trying to help, because they probly are. But as I tell my husband, "just because your trying to help, doesnt mean that you are actually being helpful, and that doesnt excuse the behavior." And some of you REALLY need to lighten up... I mean Geeze...
I didn't take any classes and I nursed for almost a year. We had trouble in the beginning getting her to latch on, but we got the hang of it. But I was not expecting a total stranger to "manhandle my boob"!
I found it so easy! BF both my girls til thery were 2 years old. If at first the baby doesnt latch on, TRY AGAIN. So much easier then cleaning bottles...and cheaper too.
Hey Amanda, if I was you I would definitly give it a go. After you go back to work, just pump there and freeze it or refridgerate it. If you freeze it and keep it in the deep freeze it'll stay good for up to 6 months. Also why do your family and friends think you shouldn't breastfeed? Have any of them had children and had a bad experience or are they just against the whole idea in the first place. I would try to find out what and why the have a problem with it and then tell them all of the postive things it does for you and your baby. Another thing about breastfeeding is that you get to share a bond with your baby that no one else will ever have. That in itself is really amazing. I plan on breastfeeding as long as I want with this baby. My family and not to mention my MIL and SIL's are always on my back about it. It's an experience that you would probably regret if you don't at least give it a try. Another thing, if your friends and family are against the breastfeeding because they thing it's gross, then tell them it's God and nature's way of supplying your child with food. Besides if they have never had a baby, where do they come off giving you a hard time. It's your baby, your body and your decision. Good luck and God bless!
Now that I have taken the class, I would kind of like to try it. However I know that after my six weeks is up it is going to be difficult for me to continue breast feeding becuase I will be going back to work. Does it help to breast feed for six weeks and then switch to bottle feeding? Will the baby easily switch to bottle feeding? I also want the father to be able to be involved, which he wont be able to if I do breastfeed. (the father would like for me to breast feed) On the other hand, when I was growing up I had ear achs, tubs in my ears, allergies, ect. My mother did not breast feed me. I don't want my child to have the same issues I have. My family and friends all think that I shouldn't breast feed. I am so confused and unsure.
I think it's funny that we're not allowed to judge women who refuse to breastfeed at all, yet it's perfectly fine to judge women who breastfeed "too long" (which is apparently a day past their first birthday).
The World Health Organization recommends that women in industrialized nations like the United States breastfeed for a MINIMUM (do we all understand what that means?) of two years, and as long after as mutually desired. There's absolutely no empirical, scientific evidence anywhere that shows any negatives to nursing children in terms of years (however there's plenty to show the harm in not nursing them at all, or only for a short time). So don't do it if that's your "choice" but don't act as if moms who are actually doing the best for their children are "bad" or "gross."
As someone who works in a lingerie store, I am constantly around breats. Big, little, deflated and full. Most women i've talked to have breastfed. I'm expecting my first child and i also plan to breastfeed. It's a plan so far. That's it. Every woman is different, and so are her views. I personally think breastfeeding is one of the most natural things EVER! but i respect those who don't want to try. Good luck with your babies, Ladies!
I agree Kerri! My sister in law did that with her kid too. He was over 3 already. I mean c'mon. Give it a rest after 1 year to 18 months max. It wouldn't have bothered me so much if she would have at least covered herself in front of all the other kids around. Not only that my husband does not need to see that from his sister. Now she has another baby over a year already and she is not showing any signs of being a little more discrete. She does it mainly to just tick me off I think. She also claims that her kids don't need their shots on time because the breastfeeding is enough. That is not true. My doctor said that there were a lot of people who thought that and it simply wasn't true. Oh well I guess she's just going to have to find out the hard way. So very sad.
I would breast feed but not alot. Just like a "snack" during the day. More than likely - I'll just use the pump. My aunt-in-law just now stopped feeding her first child. He's almost 4yrs old!!! When they're old enough to say "Okay mom, I want utter titty now." Then they are sure to be off by then!
A wet snicker's bar! OMG. I'm scared out of my mind about breast feeding. Not just because of it hurting but because I dont want to drown the little bugger. My mother-in-law was breast feeding her daughter one day and the baby slipped off. Well milk kept spewing every where and it almost drowned her. It seems funny but what if that happened to me - gah, I would blush for eternity.
And I thought about taking classes to help but as time progresses - it does seem very scary. Yeah how really are you suppose to teach some one else to do it? Just put it there and you're done. Get on the bike and peddle.
Thank god I read this. I was suppose to take classes this saturday but I didnt since I went to a free seminar at babies r us and they showed a video of a women breastfeeding etc and yes I even was freaked out. I'm 31 yrs old 7 1/2 months prego and this is my first child. I beleive it, you can't teach everything to someone until you try it yourself.But also if you go online it can help you see how the babys mouth should latch on to the breast and get information in your own private time.I printed a ton of things I can read so I know because also once you leave these classes, if you need to talk you have to also get a lactation counselor (which you have to pay for) so read up online too so you can afford that akwardness & go to babies r us do the free seminars they offer (and they cant show too much since it's held in the actual store)plus they have other free seminars that are great.I think trying breast feeding is a great idea but if you can't once you start there's always similac but don't get upset I heard it does take weeks to actually get the hang of it. Good luck to us all.
Wow! Some people these days. Such tight-wads. I am 34 weeks pregnant. I am also only 18 years old. The thought of breastfeeding at first freaked me out. Because this being the 21st Century, breast aren't used for what they are suppose to be used for. If you know what I mean. Even though the more you think about it, I guess it doesn't really matter what you want, since we aren't having the babies, they are having us. I guess we really just have to do what's best.
My Nutrionist actually is the one that convinced me after she told me that it strengthens their immune system, raises their IQ, And helps me lose all the weight I've gained during Pregnancy. I figured that that the first couple of times I would be like "ehhhh" but I would eventually get use to it. I totally Plan on Breastfeeding. So Happy Breastfeeding days Ladies. :D
I shouldn't be surprised at all the uptight, narrow-minded responses, yet I am. The purpose of the article is clearly to get women who ordinarily wouldn't consider breastfeeding to consider it. I think the author did a fine job of that - not every woman enjoys all the aspects of pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding - and I'm one of them. But I have breastfed with my second son, and I will do it again with this next baby. What rewards me for enduring the discomfort and constant rollercoaster of emotions (due to the fluctuation of hormone levels) is twofold: knowing I'm feeding him well, and being close to him. The physical aspects? Not my idea of a fun time! But hey - I wouldn't look down my nose at women that do find it enjoyable either.
So let's all have a little respect for the freedom of speech and myriad points of view, shall we ladies?
I know it was immature and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that despite my feelings, it would be a signifigant help to my baby. So I have decided that I will put away my feelings, get a breast pump and deal with it.
I have had a few dreams/nightmares of my father seeing my breast when I was going to breastfeed so I think now I am more pre-pared to get manhandled in the hospital. I really think it's important for both you and your baby to give it a try.
I just want to say good for u! u gave breastfeeding a chance without the desire to do so. most people just say no i am using formula.Breastfeeding is so natural and beautiful and i did it for a yr with my first but i am prude and dont just show people my boobs and actually preferred going into another room and calling it nursing instead! I choose to accept everyone's own decision and i still say bravo to u!
this is my first child and i'm going to try to breastfeed . although most women in my family were not able to breastfeed with thier first children. i'm a lill worrie about that but back then when my relitives were all haven children it wasn't know that smoking during pregnacy was harmful and most of them smoked all through till the birth . could that have efficted the breasts milk glads? but then agian i don't know if it's just in our gens.
i am a first time mother and this article really helped me!
This article sounds just like how I felt. Some of the things she said were rather rough yes. But honestly, by the middle of my class this last Tuesday I was turning to my husband mouthing "i'm not breastfeeding, i'm not breastfeeding" the class made me uncomfortable. It made me feel awkward. The lady made sounds with her lips so we could hear what our baby would sound like. She made us use dolls and tried to make us touch our breast to learn how to do the "c" and the "u" hold. okay. no i'm not touching my breasts in a class full of strangers regardless that half of them were touching their own. maybe this is immaturity, and leaving the class I felt very confused b/c i was so dead set on breast feeding and then when I left the idea was revolting to me. not that other women do it especially just that I felt I needed to do it regardless of how uncomfortable it would make me.
also at the very end she showed us a "skin to skin" video. it made me very uncomfortable the idea of my naked baby bounching up and down on my bare chest was gross. just plain nasty. now i'm very confused on what to do. b/c nutritionally i know that it would be much better for me breast feed my soon to be little anna. however, i just don't want to. i don't think i'm gonna like it. after the class i spoke to mothers who did breast feed and mothers that didn't and am getting different point of views. i am gonna try it and it might be ok. but if not, i'm not going to spend my time in discomfort. yes breastfeeding health wise is better. but i never had my mouth on my mothers boob and i'm doing fine. so we'll just see how it turns out.
Wow, I know breastfeeding can be difficult, but it is also a truly amazing experience. I am shocked that someone would feel this way about feeding thier own child? You would think you would be more grossed out by the thought of filling your new baby with processed cow based milk! This article is sad because it gives new Mom's a bad idea of what breastfeeding is. For those mothers who are not sure, try it and try it again until you are successful. It is the best thing.
amen Danielle!!! LOL.. I am also expecting in 8 weeks... with our 4th and last baby.
I breastfed for 6 weeks with my 1st, 18 months with my 2nd, and 3 weeks with my 3rd. They all "choose to stop" on their own. I am praying that breastfeeding goes wonderfully with my last baby. After all-
He is my last baby..im much more mature at 32 yrs lol..and i cant afford 100 dollars a week or so. GOOD LUCK to ALL MOMS either way.
HUMOR; non-sence or real.. laugh.
me ke aloha
Leigha wrote: "I wonder what happended to kids that supposedly just "wouldn't breastfeed" 100 years ago. I guess they would just have their neighbor or a "wet nurse" breastfeed! I am skeptical of moms who say it just doesn't work or is too hard. I think moms either want to or don't and when they say it's not working it means they don't want to and don't want to feel guilty. Hey, I guess if you want to pay $30 a day to feed your baby.....go right ahead! For me, feeding a baby for free despite the initial difficulties is worth it! P.S. Supposedly it's really, really good for them too:-)"
You know what drives me nuts? Self-riteous ignorant BF Nazis who end thier bullying emails with a :-) symbol so that people won't think that she's as mean or rude as she actually is. I hope that you aren't passing this superiority complex onto your offspring.
Comments like yours serve no purpose other than to demean those of us that make differing choices. My son was born perfectly healthy. I was also quite weirded out about breast-feeding, but when he came out, I tried it. And it worked! Until, that is, we went upstairs to the Maternity ward, where it was noticed that my son had low blood sugar levels and was given a bottle to even things out. That was it for him from then on. No matter what we did (that is, Me, my husband and my four well-intentioned, helpful and quite UNOBTRUSIVE lactation consultants) he was unwilling to do the extra work to get the milk. I guess that he must take after his mother Leigha? Should I start calling him lazy now, or wait until his breast-milk deficiency ruins his chance of being Kindergarten Valedictorian??
The knowledge of my previous failure as a breast-feeding mother, coupled with the knowledge that there are people like you out there willing to remind me of it, make me really look forward to seven weeks from now, when I give breastfeeding another shot. I really hope I don't give up too easily THIS time.
I love The Sarcastic Journalist! She makes me feel like it's ok to laugh at situations such as this. She is allowed her opinion, as are you and as am I - Let's try to keep it in check, ok?
Sorry about the bitter tone. I am after all, pregnant and hormonal...
:-)
This article actually did scare me a little, but it also made me laugh. I'm 32 weeks and have had an exceptionally easy pregnancy considering....my breasts aren't leaking, I didn't have nausea or anything else but heartburn or fatigue; I've been having BH contractions for about 4 weeks now, I'm up to about 4 or 5 a day...and let me tell you, they are not in the least bit pleasant or unpainful. I fully plan on breastfeeding my son, but if its as painful as some say, I won't. Those of you who try to make other women feel bad about not breastfeeding, you can shove it in my opinion. My mother couldn't breastfeed me or my younger sister because her nipples wouldn't remain hard...but there is nothing wrong with us.
This is what I felt like---It was stomach cramps, sore nipples, mastitis and 45-min feedings every 2 hrs what I went through to BF my son till he was 15 months. It was hell....but I have absolutely no regrets...as a Mom, I have given him the best gift any one could give him, making him stronger and of course bonded to me for life. It was a small price for the memories of a lifetime. I am looking forward to undergo the same torture for my daughter who is gonna arrive next month.
Also a reminder to you ladies! for those of you with rather large breast or any size for that matter! Wear a supportive bra no matter what! They will fall! Lol like I mentioned before I went from a B to a double D and they went back down to a small D, some women get smaller some get larger, but wear a bra no matter what! To keep em from reaching your belly buttons! Now that we re having our second boy my breast have gone to an E and its absolutely ridiculous. Here's a warning for ladies under 25, your breast aren't developed until you're 25 years of age! So beware, they may grow larger. My hubby hasn't complained lol but they're sure doing my back a lot of damage. I am an average sized woman that wore a size 9 before I got pregnant with my 2nd child so you can only imagine how uncomfortable it is! Wear supportive bras! Keep em up! Lol best of luck to all the new moms!
Hello everyone, first off I would like to say I absolutely LOVED this article. Very funny! And I could relate to her on every level. I had my first child when we were 18 and let me remind everyone...your breast aren't developed until you're 25 years of age! So at this time I was a full B in my breast size. During my pregnancy I thought "ew, breast feeding? I don't know about that." And once my son was born it became natural, like mother nature took over and boy let me tell ya it was indeed sore for awhile because my boobs got so huge so fast and it filled up so quickly I developed hard knots in my breast and they sure were painful. I had a rather large baby boy and he ate A LOT I tell ya. Put it this way my breast went from a B size to a double D in a matter of days. I enjoyed breast feeding and it sure made it easier moneywise and not having to fumble around at 3 am for a bottle. I breast fed for 4 almost 5 months and it was a great experience. I do agree that I didn't like these nurses fondeling my breast and squeezing the heck out of em. In my opinion don't mess with my boobs unless I ask you to! We are having our second boy in a matter of weeks and I plan to breast feed again and lets hope I can! I plan to tell them ahead of time at the hospital to stay away from my boobs. And if anyone else feels uncomfty about someone grabbing at their breast its normal! If you feel you don't need the help, speak out! Tell em "hey lady that's my boob you're squeezing here, I think I can manage it" better yet tell em ahead time! It is true that not everyone can do it, there are lots of women out there that tried so hard and it just wouldn't do it for them. I plan to breast feed our second child for a period of 5 months again maybe longer. I am now 25 years old and in college, we plan to also pump so "daddy" can feed him too once in awhile. And let me warn you ladies, you know how they say your boobs shrink once you're done breast feeding? Not always! Mine are still humungous and I plan to have them fixed once we re done popping out children, lol. We plan to have one more after this one. Best of luck to everyone!
I loved the class I took, and I HIGHLY recommend the book "So That's What They're For!", by Janet Tamaro. She spells out all the details of breastfeeding with a great sense of humor. You will love this book and at least come away fully informed and entertained.
Wow, there are some seriously uptight women here who shouldn't be reading these articles. Honey did you miss the writer's name? The Sarcastic Journalist. Go find another site and read "The serious, uptight, my opinion is always the right one journalist", it's much better for you. Secondly--do you think it's possible for you to let each mom work it out on their own?? Breast-feeding my daughter 22 years ago was a very painful experience for me and she was starving--no matter how much you think you know because of whatever happened with your own kids, it doesn't give you any right to force the way you feel on any other mother. By the way, even bottle-fed, my daughter is THE BEST WOMAN I KNOW. She is smart, caring, compassionate and though she may have VIEWS she would never make someone feel that they have to side with her on every subject or feel like a moron. I am starting over now, my new daughter is due in late August, and while I would love to breast-feed her, I'm not going to make feeding time unpleasant for me or her just because some people think she 'won't turn out right'. I will try (not because you say I should but because this is my last baby), but if feeding time turns out to be a source of frustration and pain for us both, it's a wrap. You can still love your baby while holding a bottle for her, ladies--I PROMISE.
This is EXACTLY how I feel!!! I did not breastfeed my first child, and I am 33 weeks pregnant with my second. I am going to go ahead and try this breastfeeding thing.
I really appreciate this article. I had a horrible infection with my first child my breasts swelled up got rock hard and wouldn't produce any milk. I can honestly say it was the most painful experience ive ever been through and i had a natural birth. For a week i couldn't produce milk it hurt so much i cried i ended up putting my daughter on formula out of desperation. I felt guilty and like a failure for not being able to breastfeed her. Its a shame that some mothers can be so mean and judgemental to mothers who have problems breastfeeding. I think breastfeeding is natural and beautiful and i really wish i could have with my first child.
So now that im 33weeks im really wanting to try again but im terrified i won't be able to. You mothers who are so quick to say shame on mothers who have problems breastfeeding are just mean and judgemental and make the rest of us who do have genuine concerns about breastfeeding not want to share our feelings you do more harm than good.
LOL...That was a funny article. You ladies who were upset by this should really wake up and smell the nipple cream. I personally have never been interested in having to breast feed so any kind of humor or sympathy for how I feel is really nice to hear. To each his own.
Good lord, most of you ladies need to lighten up. Before you give us the "CNN Statistics" on breastfeeding, realize that this website is for informative, lighthearted fun. I thoroughly enjoy her blogs, and frankly, you're the one coming across as immature (and just plain dorky) when you take the time to post your "Breasts are not funbags" petitions. Anyway, lighten up.
They also don't tell you that "cluster feeding" lasts WEEKS!!!!
I'd like to address those of you who said that women who said that they "couldn't" BF actually "wouldn't" put forth the effort. I'm sorry, that may be true in some cases, but to make that a generalized statement was just rude.
My daughter was born 6 weeks premature and weighed 4.8 pounds. Because of this, she spent her first two weeks of life in NICU at the hospital. While I was encouraged to visit her, I was told that I was only to come at her 3 hour feedings and only 2-3 a day because I needed to heal from my c-section. For the 5 days I stayed in the hospital, I went to NICU for as many feedings as I could. They fed her through a gavage tube in her nose for most of those days, so I couldn't even try to BF. I had a pump in my room, and every spare moment was devoted to trying to get my milk to "come in".
I was told by the very happy nurse at the 7am feeding on the 5th day that she had been able to get my daughter to eat 1/2 an ounce of formula out of a bottle at the 4AM feeding. From then on, every time I visited her, I tried to nurse and I pumped when I was there and when I was at home. I could never pump enough milk to fully feed her, so they had to suppliment with formula. And, even though I had help from nurses and a lactation consultant, my daughter never latched on.
After she came home from the hospital, I still tried to BF. But, can you imagine how hard it is to do that with a 5 pound premie that has to eat a certain amount every 3 hours?! I couldn't just wait for us to "work it out", I couldn't just wait for my milk to finally decide to "come in". She HAD to gain weight or die.
I tried to BF for about four months. Those were the hardest months of my life. I was already wracked with guilt over what I possibly did wrong in my pregnancy to have my baby premature (nothing, by the way), still healing from the 9 inch gash in my belly, and totally sleep deprived from having to get up every 3-4 hours, whether she was awake or not, to feed my daughter. Add to that the guilt that I wasn't a fit mother because I couldn't feed her the way God intended. I was a wreck.
It's not even like we made progress. She never latched on, and, despite trying all of the medicines, tools, and wives tales, my milk never came in. I pumped regularly, but never came up with more than an ounce.
Finally, my husband told me to give up. I didn't want to stop, but I realized that I wasn't helping the baby to fret over it so much. I still pumped and supplimented for a while longer, but I stopped trying to nurse.
And, as far as the price goes, I hated having to spend over $100 a week on formula, but what choice did I have?
So, I realize this is a very long rant, but I feel passionately about it. I'm now 11 weeks pregnant with my 2nd, and totally plan on trying to BF again. Of course, I also totally plan on going full term with this child too. All I'm saying is that maybe those of you who feel that I just didn't "Try hard enough" should maybe show some compassion and realize that not everything is as easy for everyone. And that there are extenuating circumstances that somethimes prevent a woman from doing it.
And by the by, the lady who brought up the point about what women did if their babies "just didn't latch on" 100 years ago; I fully realize that my daughter and myself would have died in child birth 100 years ago...no doubt about it. That's why I thank God that we were here in this century instead.
I thought this was a good article as I'm expecting my first child. It helped me feel like I'm not alone in my aprehension I'm feeling about breastfeeding. I am 30 and this is my first, we did not want children for some time. So, for years, I never thought of my breasts as being used in this way. That wasn't what some man told me, it's just the way I felt.
Also, I have some issues with my breasts because I was molested when I was a child. They were part of the abuse. Although that was a long time ago, it still makes me feel wierd when I think of my breasts sometimes.
The thought of someone else handling my breasts (even though I know they have the best intentions in mind) is a bit foreign to me. I'm glad that they mentioned this or I wouldn't have expected it.
So...for those that are saying shame on some of these women for expressing their feelings, I say that you need to try to realize that not everyone feels wierd about breastfeeding for selfish reasons. There are legitimate concerns that some women don't feel comfortable sharing with the world. I don't feel I have to share my childhood horors with people so I always said that it just seemed "wierd" to avoid the subject.
By the way...once we got in a better place in life and are settled, we planned this pregnancy and it has been wonderful. I quit work and am so excited...so much so that I am going to try to breastfeed. It seems a lot more natural now and I know how much better it is for the baby, however...if it does freak me out or if it doesn't work, I am not going to be hard on myself either.
Sorry this is long but I wanted to share my story with you.
lol. i be darned if some person i dont know is going to touch my breasts. in my opinion thats a good way to get hit. its like the person coming up to u in a store and touching ur belly. im the girl to break the other persons hand. i took a class, and i feel i can do it on my own!
I did not take a breastfeeding class, but I did ask one nurse what to do, and it was the best advise ever. Later other nurses tried to give me their advise, and it was all crap. Every single nurse tries to tell you something different. The first nurse said to put my sons mouth flat against my boob. She said he could still breath, and not to worry. It worked like a charm. All of the other nurses freaked out thinking I was going to smother him. It made me want to scream. Well, he is still here, and very healthy.
LMAO @ the comment about a total stranger manhandling your boob in the hospital! So true. I LOVED breastfeeding and can't wait to do it again. :)
All the women who are getting bent out of shape over this article need to realize that while it may seem offensive to you, it's not only funny but in fact very true of breastfeeding, the classes, and the sometimes over-zealous lactation consultants.
"Manhandling" is exactly what happened to me when I had my daughter. Every visit from friends or family was interrupted repeatedly by a very annoying nurse who would just pull out my boob and squeeze the nipple to see if things were flowing okay or would ask questions that were very embaressing to have to answer in front of people like my dad, for instance. It was over the top and invasive, IMO, and not at all supportive or helpful. I made a point right off the bat this time to make sure the hospital staff knew I didn't want a lactation nurse within 100 feet of me or my boobs. So yeah, it does happen just the way SJ described; and for the record, no one is putting down breastfeeding, so try to keep the hormones in check, ladies, huh??
I told my boyfriend why I thought breast feeding was better because it's easier during night-time feedings and also just easier in general. I told him how I didn't want to have to fix up a bottle and then have to spend all this time cleaning and sterilizing those things. He then asked me why I don't have to sterilize my milk before it comes out! What a stupid question....
I am by no means a prude and yes this was "supposed" to be funny but it was not if people were helping you try to latch the baby on and you didn't feel comfortable you are ridiculous they just helped a baby out of your crouch HELLO what do you think woman did years and years ago they didn't have to have slogans talking about how healthy breast milk is that was the only way I don't care if breast feeding my baby was expensive and formula was free breast feeding is the way nature inteneded it and shame on any one who feels akward for feeding their own child the way God intended it. And if you say it doesn't work and switch to formula double shame on you you are short changing your child of some of the most healthiest feedings they will ever have and yourself the pleasure of knowing that. I have always loved these articles but this is the first that really made me mad call me a prude all you want but you should be ashamed of yourselves
There is a lot of truth to what you said. I too never intended to breastfeed, until I realized how good it would be for the baby, plus I am an "older" Mom. I would agree intially it was "trying" but definately worth it. The man handling at the hospital is true, but she really did help me. Good luck to all that decide to breastfeed, your baby will thank you.
It sounds like you had a terrible instructor. I went into labor the night I was supposed to take the class for my first child. I did get quite a bit of help at the hospital but always wished I could have had the class. This time I took the class way ahead of time.
It should not hurt, be uncomfortable yes, but not painful. There's a learning curve just like riding a bike. Some babies are better at right off the bat then others too.
My son latched perfectly the first time and then later had trouble staying latched after that. I nursed exclusively for 3 months and continued to nurse, pump and suppliment until he was 9 months old.
I feel that I'm much better prpared this time since I took the class. I learned that there were several things that I could improve on with this baby when she/he arrives. I have several little books on proper techniques too.
I guess after you've had one child and have nursed or pumped it's different. You realize that your sexy balcony has a useful purpose. It's great for the baby, your own body gets back in shape quicker, and it even can lower some cancer risks. It is really a beautiful way to bond with your baby too.
I pray that I'll be able to nurse for the first year this time. I'll pump after a couple months too.
Bottom line is take a class, read a book on it, research on th web, ask for help at the hospital. Check it out before you write it off.
I never thought I would breastfeed either until I felt my baby moving inside. That's when I knew I would. I'm so glad I did and happy to do it again.
OMG this story was hilrious!
Yeah breastfeeding does hurt and it takes time and patience...hopefully with my second one, it will be easier for him to latch on..my daughter couldn't!
This is rediculous...you guys need to lighten up..frist off. I've heard lots of terrible stories about breastfeeding! I personally support breast feeding ... It is something I will do. But i have a good friend of mine who has the same opinion..it's doesn't make you any less maturnial. Wow you moms are prudes....get over yourselfves ladies. I'd hate you think I was that judgemental. And as for jens statement... Just because a women called her breasts fun bags...doesn't mean she's bought into a male perpective. That means she thought the saying was funny..kinda like I like to call people whos name is jen...a purde! -it's funny.
Joke: Pronunciation: 'jOk
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin jocus; perhaps akin to Old High German gehan to say, Sanskrit yAcati he asks
1 a : something said or done to provoke laughter; especially : a brief oral narrative with a climactic humorous twist b (1) : the humorous or ridiculous element in something (2) : an instance of jesting : KIDDING (((can't take a joke))) c : PRACTICAL JOKE d : LAUGHINGSTOCK
2 : something not to be taken seriously : a trifling matter (consider his skiing a joke -- Harold Callender) -- often used in negative constructions (it is no joke to be lost in the desert)
Learn it ladies Lighten up! If you can't laugh at life it will laugh at you.....
I hated that no one warns you that yes some nurse will grab your boob in the hospital and manhandle it into the babies mouth. They don't even give you warning the just manuver you and the baby till they're happy. Other than that I was one of those crazy people who loved breastfeed but had trouble stopping... my son went till 22 months. Hopefully I don't have that problm this time
I feel sorry for women who have bought into the male perspective so much that they lose sight of the actual purpose of breasts. It sounds so crass for a woman to call breasts "fun bags." Even if it was meant to be funny, there was obviously at least a grain of truth to that attitude, because the author was so mortified of breastfeeding! I hate that the message society in the US forces down women's throats is that breasts = sex when that's so warped and inaccurate.
I'm so happy someone said "it hurts at first!!" I breastfed two kids for over a year each time. I was convinced I was doing it wrong when it hurt hurt hurt the first time. Even the lactation consultant at the hospital said "if it hurts, the baby is not latched on right." THAT IS NOT TRUE!! It will hurt for about two weeks (maybe even bleed) and then it will be FINE, easy, not hurt. Please don't listen to someone tell you if it hurts you're doing it wrong!! I think that causes more women to quit nursing. They are just sure their baby is not latched on correctly. Just give it a few weeks, the pain will go away and it will be one of the easiest things you've ever done!! And, it's the best for your baby. :-)
LOL i loved this one. It was great. I breastfeed my son for six months untill my milk gave out. i kept an infection but stuck in there. ANYWAYS i always thought it was strange then i did it and it worked out. Now im having a girl, and all of a sudden i find it weird again go figure. Anyways loved the article makes you think you arent alone
The best thing about breastfeeding is its only you and your baby. Only you can give that nurtering. with bottle feeding other people can do it. breastfeeding is just you and baby. you always have that special time together.
I can definitely understand why some women would have doubts or fears about breastfeeding. I had my first child when I was 24; I attempted to breastfeed her, but she did not want to latch on. However, I didn't really try hard. I believe that my immaturity got in the way of providing my baby with the opportunity. With my second child, I was able to successfully breastfeed him. Yes, it was extremely uncomfortable in the beginning, but it definitely got better. Not to mention, the bonding time that you have with your baby...it us unreal!! You have to do what is right for you and your baby. If you don't want to breastfeed, think about pumping. If you don't want to do that, that is totally up to you. It's your baby and your breast. The only thing that I would say is think about the benefits of breastfeeding. It decreases your risk of breast cancer, it provides your baby with antibodies, it helps decrease the risk of ear infections...the list goes on.
What a negative attitude that article has... I know it was *meant* to be funny, but I didn't find it to be.
I suppose you have good breastfeeding classes and bad breastfeeding classes, just like anything else. I think it a shame that anyone feels "manhandled" when all that the nurses and midwives are trying to do is give you all the support they can. Breast milk is best for babies (if you aren't comfortable with it or not successful, then fine, bottle feed, I'm not knocking that decision) but how can you be so negative towards those people who are trying to help you do what is best for your baby??
And as for the "its just yuck" attitude some people have, as if our breasts are there purely to represent our sexuality and femininity and for pleasure, I can't help feeling that this is a narrow minded and immature outlook.
Sure it hurts. Sure you can get infections, or blocked ducts. Sure you can have problems getting the baby to "latch on", or feed enough that he isn't shouting for more 20 minutes later. Sure you can leak - there are pads you can get to absorb that leakage though and that's nowhere near as yucky as periods IMO. Why would any of those things that give anyone "nightmares"?? They don't mean you "can't" breastfeed. They are hurdles I think most women who b/f encounter, but some women are more determined than others. How determined do you think I am to do the best for my son? You can bet your granny I'm pretty darn determined!!!!
I wonder what happended to kids that supposedly just "wouldn't breastfeed" 100 years ago. I guess they would just have their neighbor or a "wet nurse" breastfeed! I am skeptical of moms who say it just doesn't work or is too hard. I think moms either want to or don't and when they say it's not working it means they don't want to and don't want to feel guilty. Hey, I guess if you want to pay $30 a day to feed your baby.....go right ahead! For me, feeding a baby for free despite the initial difficulties is worth it! P.S. Supposedly it's really, really good for them too:-)
I agree the article is childish. I seriously doubt someone "manhandled" your breast. You should have been grateful for the help. I know the courses teach specific holds and tecniques among other things, and not just "put the baby to your breast."
I can totally relate to this article. The idea of BF to me is not in the slightest appealing. We are planning to bottle feed. this should be a personal decision yet I find myself having to constantly explain my decision. Both my husband and myself were bottle feed and we are both intelligent, successful adults. Both our moms are completely happy with our decision yet people like my sister in law who is a new mother continues to attack us for our decision. Maybe she should look at her own child who is constantly hungry and crying because she is not producing enough milk to satisfy her child. I'll be happy with my decision while my child is full and sleeping and the breast fed baby is screaming for more!!
Oh God, I completely agree. The whole idea is so weird to me. I'm 24 weeks and my nipples keep leaking, and every time they do, I remember that there's going to be a baby attached to them soon. I've tried to find every breastfeeding website, book and video I can to try and get used to the idea. I know when the breastfeeding classes are, but I haven't been able to convince myself to go to one yet. I think breastfeeding is a beautiful, natural, wonderful thing....when it's happening to someone else.
Yay! I'm not alone. "You want me to let IT do what?" Was the first thing I thought. And after my mom's "Of course I BF you.....untill they(meaning her boobs) got INFECTED" It gave me nightmares. The funniest thing is that for the first couple of months Hubby 'told' me we should try, even though the idea gave me the heebiejeebies. Now He says "Whatever makes you happy, precious." Translation..."Please don't go psyco pregnant woman on me."
i thought this was just a take on breastfeeding humor... nothing against anyone or saying that breastfeeding is "icky". I enjoyed her article. Lighten up ladies!!!
When I was prego with my first son, I was totally going to bf, but that was until SEVEN nurse were all groping my boobs AT THE SAME TIME! Everytime the door would open and a nurse would pop her head in looking for someone, they would call her over, and assure me that if SHE couldn't latch him on, no one could..."So why are you six other ppl here?!?!?" But I think I will try again with baby #2...but no promises!
God love ya for having a sense of humor!! When I first tried bf 11+ years ago I wanted to scream. I was frustrated and in pain. Apparently having breast wasn't the only requirement, you need good and/or trainable nipples. I bf for about 3 mo.and gave it up. Baby #2 due in 6+/- weeks will be given an equal opportunity but with trained nipples this time (I hope!!). Happy feeding to all no matter what the source is.
I think that not all mothers can bf.My aunt tried to bf but Luka couldn't latch on.I never took a course on how to put a baby to my boob and feed it.Not all mothers want to bf and I don't see a big deal in it. If you don't want to bf don't.When I had my dd they almost forced me to formula feed but I switched doctors and now I bf both my daughters and want to bf the twins.
Did I just stumble upon a prego message board??? Sheesh... For the record, it freaks me out to.
its just a way to make people laugh, and if thats the way she felt, you cant knock her for it
hey ladies its supposed to be funny -lighten up
I don't understand how you can feel that way. I personally enjoy the idea of breastfeeding my daughter when she arrives. I honestly never new a woman could feel the way you just decribed your self feeling. Even at breastfeeding classes, I went to one and I found it very informative.
it just sounds very immature to me personally.