The Sarcastic Journalist is a freelance writer and mother of two living near Houston, Texas. She has a degree in journalism and an addiction to magazines. She is hoping never to experience the "joy" of pregnancy again. You can find much more of her home-grown snark at: shenuts.com
In addition to recounting 40 not-so-glowing but hilarious weeks of her pregnancy for our pregnancy calendar the Sarcastic Journalist used her sarcasm super-powers to help make our new edgy sarcastic pregnancy tickers. Check 'em out!
Week 23 : The Pregnancy Pillow Problem
Much to the dismay of my dermatologist, I've always been a belly sleeper. Before I became pregnant for the first time, I had to sleep in the exact same position every night: on my belly, head towards the right, feet crossed just so with my hands tucked up under my pillow.
Even though I was slightly worried at the beginning of my pregnancy about sleeping on my belly, instinct quickly won over and I kept on sleeping that way, figuring I should enjoy it while I could.
Then, the belly started getting a little bigger and the baby started kicking. I really had a hard time sleeping on my stomach, thinking about this itty bitty baby girl in there, kicking at me to change position. Sometimes I imagined a tiny little fetus voice screaming “help me!”
Once it became impossible to sleep on my belly, I went out and bought one of those expensive “body pillows.” You know, the type that are about the length of your bed and resemble a snake? Yeah, I had one of those.
Except, I hated it. I’m not sure how I was supposed to sleep with it (I don’t remember reading a “how to sleep with your pillow for dummies” manual), and just couldn’t get it down. Hands above or below? Do I “spoon” it or just snuggle up near?
Finally, the stupid thing made it to the closet, along with all the other things I thought I needed but never used. I took up sleeping with a variety of pillows for comfort: one for my back, one for my head and one between my legs. If I was feeling in the mood for some loving, I might even hug one.
My entourage of pillows and I took up a good ¾ of our bed, a fact that I’m pretty sure secretly annoyed my husband. If my conquering of the bed wasn’t enough to anger him, the fact that a group of pillows were getting more “action” than he was (thanks to my nonexistent libido) probably did the trick.
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This is the first article that is so true....except I just bought a preganancy pillow so we will see how that goes. As far as the nonexistent libido..you couldnt be more on track..my poor hunny!
Comment on 13th Mar '07 @ 9:26 amThis comment is 1
i can relate to the discomfort of trying to get to sleeep. the things we go thru to have children...lol
Comment on 23rd Mar '07 @ 3:49 pmThis comment is 1
Im running into the same problem. I love sleeping on my belly! I have found that a nice pice of memory fome helps cushon my hips while on my side and a good ol 10$ body pellow makes a wold of diferance. As for the libido, its there for me I just cant get around the thought of my husbands......
"parts" invading my baby girls pace. Has anyone else had this problem or is it just me???
Comment on 26th Mar '07 @ 1:21 pmThis comment is 1
I am also a belly sleeper, so i rearange myself, not to mention my pillows about 100 times a night and finally get comfortable about 30 seconds before my alarm goes off!!!
But as far ad libido goes i got lucky and can't get enough, I guess that makes my husband lucky too, at first i worries about scarring my baby for life but then my doctor explained that it would kindof be like rocking her to sleep In her little waterbedroom.
Comment on 1st Apr '07 @ 9:13 amThis comment is 1
yeah i was a belly sleeper too, and no matter how hard i try, everytime i go on my side, i end up back on my belly...i found a great fix for it though. i just lay my upper body on my husband so my belly hardly touches the bed...it works for me, not sure if he gets much sleep, havent heard complaints though
Comment on 3rd Apr '07 @ 12:00 amThis comment is 1
I _love_ my body pillow. You can lay it down any way you feel like. I have had it since I was pregnant with my son in 2000 and I'm using it for Nr.2 now. You can lay it in a kind of O and lay on your belly that way (the belly obviously goes in the center of the O). I'm "only" 20 weeks, but I feel like I'm pretty huge already, I don't think I was this big at 20 weeks with my son.
Also, for me it's comfortable to have the pillow on my side and one leg goes on top of it, one below, I fold over part of the top end for my head and I can read comfortably with my book propped up in the pillow, too.
Comment on 5th Apr '07 @ 12:41 pmThis comment is 1
So VERY true! I know my pillow takes up a good portion of the bed (along with my half out of the middle), but so far my husband has been a good sport about it. I bought a wild tie-dyed pillow case and we decided that my pillow looks like a hippie chick. We've so appropriately named her Sunflower Earthchild. It's a good thing she likes to snuggle too! :)
Comment on 21st Apr '07 @ 8:17 pmThis comment is 1
Well I see I'm not the only one who still sleeps on their stomach at 23 wks. pregnant. I get scared sometimes b/c I think it's gonna hurt the baby. I try to get comfortable in another position but laying on my stomach is the only comfortable position I can get sleep in. I'm still not sure if it will hurt the baby or not. Does anyone know?
Comment on 25th Apr '07 @ 12:25 pmThis comment is 1
I'm rolling with laughter, my husband and I just had this conversation last night. I sleep two pillows normally and just bought a third last week, not to mention the throw pillow I've snagged from the couch. While getting ready for bed last night I noticed that two were missing. He tried to blame it on our two year old, but I think he secretly took them off the bed hopeing I'd forget about them.
Comment on 16th May '07 @ 1:40 pmThis comment is 1
I loved this article. I bought a body pillow instead of the one made specifically for pregnancy. It was wonderful. My husband even liked it. Until it went flat. Now it's just a nuisance. As for the libido, mine is still pretty strong. The vivid dreams help. Unfortunately I'm on bedrest, so I can't do anything about it.
Comment on 18th May '07 @ 6:52 amThis comment is 1
I also sleep over my belly i try not to, but is something i can't control it. I sometime feel guilty because i think i am harming the baby, but the other day i asked my doctor and she said it was ok. But I don't know for how long it still ok. She told me that the baby would let me know when is time to get i new position. And about the libido thing, many times i heard that pregnant woman had a very strong libido, but i don't know what happen with mine because I don't even want to be kissed. I don't lubricate, i can't feel anything, and i don't wanna even think about having sex.
Comment on 22nd May '07 @ 5:06 pmThis comment is 1
I am pretty big for 23 weeks. I needed some kinda support for my belly. I found out that the squissy pillow helps a lot. It just conforms to my body curves,has just the right amount of support, light weight and great for hugging.As for the pillow between legs I just use a big piece of stiff sponge from joanne fabrics wrapped up in a towel.It retains its shape and also massages my inner thighs. Not to mention much lighter and less bulkier when you have to change position.
Comment on 3rd Jun '07 @ 4:02 pmThis comment is 1
I am 23 weeks today with my second child, also a girl, and yes having the same problem with the belly! I no longer sleep on my belly because I am afraid of harming my baby... To answer STORMY yes I feel the same way ( I do feel weird to think about my hubbys body parts touching my baby girl's space ) So yup my libido is very much gone.
Take care girls -GOOD LUCK-
Comment on 7th Jun '07 @ 5:58 pmThis comment is 1
I AM 23 WEEKS ALSO and I actually loves sleeping on my stomach thats the only way i can fall asleep or atleast half way on my stomach.
Comment on 12th Jun '07 @ 5:34 pmThis comment is 1
I'm 21 wks preggo, and I can't sleep on my tummy anymore ~sob~ that was the only way I could sleep before! I can't sleep on my back b/c I can't breath well b/c of sinus' so I'm stuck on one side or the other...5 more months of this...I already have sore spots on my hips and knees!
Comment on 28th Jun '07 @ 3:12 pmThis comment is 1
Amen sister!!! I could have written that except that my hubby loves my preggy pillow and keeps stealing it!!! lol. Oh well, it's a good thing that I have 5 other pillows! :P
Comment on 19th Jul '07 @ 9:30 pmThis comment is 1
I have a body pillow. I curl it around my back an my head. Part lays agaisnt my back, part under my head, and I have one hand under it, just like I've always slept. I then have a nice flatish pillow under my tummy and sometimes another flatish one between my knees. Thats what works for me. I just got the best body pillow though, it looks like suade and costs $14 from wally world, but omg, your head hits that thing and your out!!!
Comment on 4th Aug '07 @ 9:08 pmThis comment is 1
Yes it is hard to get comfortable when you are pregnant, but, I just wonder what your dermatologist had to do with anything?! Maybe your Obgyn might not have been happy with it but dermatologist?????
Comment on 10th Aug '07 @ 2:41 pmThis comment is 1
I was laughing the whole time I read this as if I wrote it myself. Thank goodness I was 2 seconds from opting for that silly body pillow. I see I should just save my money and suffer or gather pillows from all over the house! LMAO
Comment on 11th Aug '07 @ 7:35 amThis comment is 1
I've got to have one pillow for the belly the two fro my head, one (double stuffed) between my legs. And my poor husband usually gets my back side. I'm not huge yet but big enough to notice when I'm making my little boy uncomfortable, and he does just as well a job keeping me up. But my array of pillows does help, and sometimes if the one under my belly isn't working I'll move it part way under my back. This works so that I can sleep on my back, but displaces the weight of the baby some so that he doesn't hurt me, plus it's helped a lot with my back pain.
Comment on 13th Aug '07 @ 11:30 amThis comment is 1
I love your article because you nailed it on the head. 1st off, I have all these people who are not pregnant telling me to buy the pillow, but so far I've been doing okay with my own pillows in all the places you named. So no, I won't be spending money on a pillow that will only make it to the closet and instead using it on a cute little outfit or something. And 2nd, whoever said I would be craving some loving is a liar because I haven't wanted to touch anything but my pillow since I became pregnant, lol.
Comment on 9th Sep '07 @ 10:42 amThis comment is 1
Ha. Libido? What is that? I get dirty looks from my husband all the time. As for the body pillow. My dog sleeps with it on the floor now.
Comment on 13th Sep '07 @ 2:21 pmThis comment is 1
aw man you said it! i feel like i havent slept in months! no wonder pregnant moms are so cranky. screw the hormone excuse, just give me some damn shut eye!
Comment on 30th Sep '07 @ 5:20 pmThis comment is 1
I agree with the non existent libido. I am having a boy and I wonder if that has something to do with it. I wasn't this bad when aI was pregnant with my daughter. I guess there is only room for one penis
Comment on 1st Oct '07 @ 7:55 amThis comment is 1
LMAO...that part about the entourage of pillows was hilarious. too too funny.
Comment on 1st Oct '07 @ 11:26 pmThis comment is 1
wow...this is funny i though i was the only one...i use about 4 pillows to put them under my head because if not i can breath then one between my legs n one in my feet n even if i have all of that i still can sleep specially because i always sleep on my stomach n it takes me seriously about 3 to 4 hrs so i could finally fall asleep...i hate it...if someone told me all the things that actually will happend while u r pregnant...i think i wouldnt have sign up for this...but then again im loving this no matter what...
Comment on 2nd Oct '07 @ 8:59 pmThis comment is 1
haha that's me too... I made my husband go out and get me one of them snake like pillows and it takes up the whole bed so he gets just enough room to lay and that's it!!!
Comment on 9th Oct '07 @ 7:03 amThis comment is 1
My husband likes to sleep with a lot of pillows as well, and since I took all of his he waits until I go to sleep at night and then steals a few from me : p haha I always wake up and give him a big smack before returning the pillows to their "rightful owner"!
Comment on 16th Oct '07 @ 5:03 pmThis comment is 1
I feel like i cant breathe when i lay on my back and my heart is pounding..this even happens when im laying in the bath tub.. does anyone else get this feeling?
Comment on 4th Dec '07 @ 9:28 amThis comment is 1
so funny, my husband actually said he was jealous of my pillows last night ;-)
Comment on 5th Dec '07 @ 3:22 pmThis comment is 1
My libido on the other hand is on overdrive it was with my first pregnancy too, even though it's on overdrive I'm just tooooooo tired to do anything haha.
Comment on 10th Dec '07 @ 9:42 pmThis comment is 1
Yup, this is EXACTLY how I feel!! I always sleep on my tummy. I've found that if I kind of put a body pillow partially wedged under me while on my belly it gives my tummy more room and support, and it's actually really comfortable. My poor boyfriend, we already had problems in our bed because it's a full and now I sleep with four pillows and take up more than half the bed. I feel so bad sometimes, but he made me throw my queen matress away when we moved in together in favor of his full, so I blame him, too :)
Comment on 11th Dec '07 @ 7:53 pmThis comment is 1
I couldn't agree more. No libido--I feel so bad for my husband. I try to argue that I deserve atleast 2/3's of the bed since I am after all 2 people but he isn't going for it. We actually had to setup our schedules where we could take shifts sleeping because I am only comfortable when I have the whole bed to myself...lol
Comment on 16th Dec '07 @ 11:26 amThis comment is 1
I don't think anyone could explain better than you how i feel about sleep.
Comment on 20th Dec '07 @ 12:17 pmThis comment is 1
you could not be more right about my sleeping habits and libido. my boyfriend is actually jealous of my body pillows. he keeps saying that i love it more then him.
Comment on 22nd Dec '07 @ 10:38 amThis comment is 1
OMG i feel like i could have wrote this myself! I also sleep on my tummy and have bought an expensive pillow that has ended up in my closet and my libido has died as well!!! My hubby has ben on my case about me sleeping on my belly im 23 weeks now and i still can..but is it safe? im a plus size girl..anyone know?
Comment on 31st Dec '07 @ 9:45 pmThis comment is 1
Sorry Gena, I have no idea, you'd have to ask your doctor. I also feel like I could have written this article. I'm only 9 weeks, and I just can't find a comfortable sleep position either. I haven't tried the pillow thing yet but I think I'll try that next. My libido took a hike a long time ago. I haven't really had one since my daughter was born almost 2 years ago. My poor hubby. He's usually a good sport though. I can't complain about that. Good luck everyone and God bless!
Comment on 5th Jan '08 @ 5:38 pmThis comment is 1
I'm a belly sleeper too. I'm at that point where it's just about impossible to sleep on my belly. My husband usually sleeps against the wall and i sleep next to him. However now I have monopolized his wall with a body pillow against it so that i can lean against it instead of laying flat on my back or my belly. I know it's hard for him because he has a psychological need that makes him feel safer if he sleeps against the wall but he's let me have it in hopes that I can actually sleep through the night, since it's been over a month for me.
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Comment on 4th Feb '08 @ 5:34 amThis comment is 1
The non-existant libido thing....I just had to crack up. I read it to my husband so he didn't feel so alone. I have a friend that is about 8 weeks ahead of me and she says she wants it all the time through her whole pregnancy....makes me start to wonder if she is lying or just blessed. As for the pillow thing....I'm working on finding something that is actually comfortable. Other wise I just wake up 20 times and wine like a little baby. :) I figure God is preparing me for the sleep I will not get when the baby is born.
Thanks for the article
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Comment on 12th Feb '08 @ 11:37 pmThis comment is 1
I have no trouble sleeping on my side, but a back injury that's flaring up now does better if I sort of sleep halfway between being on my side and on my stomach. It's hard to explain, but I'm kind of at an angle and the mattress does seem to support my belly this way without my weight being directly on it. Lots and lots and lots of vivid dreams. And my sex drive, which has always been high, is still through the roof. I worry about certain positions, but if we're creative it works out just fine.
Comment on 3rd Mar '08 @ 5:51 amThis comment is 1
You're just so funny. this article really hits close. I've been sleeping on my back but lately found this a little uncomfortable. Just started trying out sleeping on my left side this week but @#$$!!!!! Really wish I could sleep just the way I wanted!
Comment on 6th Mar '08 @ 7:25 amThis comment is 1
Hi girls. This is my 3rd baby and I have invested in the pregnancy pillow and so far found it of little help. somebody asked about becoming out of breath when sleeping on their back. This is natures way of telling you to get off your back. You many also notice you start going numb in the legs. Lying on your back especially after 20 weeks squashes one of your major arteries and reduces oxygen flow to the baby. Becoming breathless, dizzy, numb etc is nature telling you to lie on your side. The left side is the safest but it is really hard to do this all night. I flip continually between left and right. Sex drive with this pregnancy is through the roof but I believe this has a lot to do with the fact that I'm not dealing with any toddlers. It has been nearly 10 years since our last baby and therefore I think libido has a lot to do with your current workload as a mum. It is very draining having a little person in the house and being pregnant as well.
Comment on 14th Mar '08 @ 4:47 amThis comment is 1
LOL. . . i sleep with my pillow for my head another pillow that sometimes goes behind my back to keep me from rolling to my back or sumtimes tucked under my belly from keeping me from rolling onto my stomach. (after i got pregnant i always found myself sleeping on my tummy, which was wierd cuz i was a side sleeper) and i use on of those lil couch throw pillows that are really thick for between my legs. . . and i end up losing my pillows at night and the hubby steels pillows from me not knowing it (he's used to slepeing with a pillow between his legs- actually he had a body pillow but its packed away.) I like to hug the pillow too which is a problem because its hard to keep it between my legs and hug it close to my chest without having to bring my knees up to my chest too. . i think i need to invest in a body pillow
Comment on 14th Mar '08 @ 7:23 amThis comment is 1
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Comment on 15th Apr '08 @ 4:37 amThis comment is 1
I totally understand this...I have to have at least three pillows when I sleep. The libido thing sounds familiar too. I feel so bad for my husband because I love him dearly and he is wonderful but I have no desire to have sex.
Comment on 24th Apr '08 @ 8:41 amThis comment is 1
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Comment on 9th May '08 @ 1:52 amThis comment is 1
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Comment on 9th May '08 @ 1:52 amThis comment is 1
This is sooo true! i have a bunch of pillows on my bed, one body pillow that my belly rests on and goes between my knees. one behind my back and 2 under my head! ^-^
And I think if i had some one to love on then i wouldn't be as "stressed" as i am...
lol
Comment on 12th May '08 @ 7:10 amThis comment is 1
the wild my dad reaction We need we watched
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