The Sarcastic Journalist is a freelance writer and mother of two living near Houston, Texas. She has a degree in journalism and an addiction to magazines. She is hoping never to experience the "joy" of pregnancy again. You can find much more of her home-grown snark at: shenuts.com
In addition to recounting 40 not-so-glowing but hilarious weeks of her pregnancy for our pregnancy calendar the Sarcastic Journalist used her sarcasm super-powers to help make our new edgy sarcastic pregnancy tickers. Check 'em out!
Week 23 : The Pregnancy Pillow Problem
Much to the dismay of my dermatologist, I've always been a belly sleeper. Before I became pregnant for the first time, I had to sleep in the exact same position every night: on my belly, head towards the right, feet crossed just so with my hands tucked up under my pillow.
Even though I was slightly worried at the beginning of my pregnancy about sleeping on my belly, instinct quickly won over and I kept on sleeping that way, figuring I should enjoy it while I could.
Then, the belly started getting a little bigger and the baby started kicking. I really had a hard time sleeping on my stomach, thinking about this itty bitty baby girl in there, kicking at me to change position. Sometimes I imagined a tiny little fetus voice screaming “help me!”
Once it became impossible to sleep on my belly, I went out and bought one of those expensive “body pillows.” You know, the type that are about the length of your bed and resemble a snake? Yeah, I had one of those.
Except, I hated it. I’m not sure how I was supposed to sleep with it (I don’t remember reading a “how to sleep with your pillow for dummies” manual), and just couldn’t get it down. Hands above or below? Do I “spoon” it or just snuggle up near?
Finally, the stupid thing made it to the closet, along with all the other things I thought I needed but never used. I took up sleeping with a variety of pillows for comfort: one for my back, one for my head and one between my legs. If I was feeling in the mood for some loving, I might even hug one.
My entourage of pillows and I took up a good ¾ of our bed, a fact that I’m pretty sure secretly annoyed my husband. If my conquering of the bed wasn’t enough to anger him, the fact that a group of pillows were getting more “action” than he was (thanks to my nonexistent libido) probably did the trick.
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and i hear you about the libido thingie too.....
question.. is it true that dependingo n the sex of the child, you feel an increase in libido??
Thats soo funny, sounds like me. Right now I don't have a cuddle pillow, I use a normal one for now. Yea my poor hubby no lovin for him, just not in the mood.
Even weirder for me. Want loads of cuddling, affection, etc all the time, but uh.... hubby still gets no action..... poor guy! Understanding must get difficult for him after a while.... So.... we do what we can, when I'm not in *^^&&* moods. Luckily, I use him for my body pillow on one side and cannot be dissuaded or I can't get comfortable, so he feels like he gets *some* action.....?
This is great!! Last night I threw my beloved body pillow to the floor. It was a dream and now it just gets in my way. It's soooo big!! I'm one of the ones who have to flip all night for left to right so my body won't go numb and so I had to flip that big ole thing with me. I'll probably ask it back to bed before the week is over but for now on the floor it will stay!!Oh and by the way, my husband turns me down because I want it all the time!!
I just want to say 'thank you'. Your article gave me a good laugh and helped relieve some so-not-needed stress! Also, sounds like your husband is a good sport - like mine! God bless him!!!
I hear you. I am a belly sleeper and where I normally can sleep on my stomach it is uncomfortable. I was told to sleep on my left side but can't get comfortable. I thankfully have the bed to myself except for my cat who goes around how I want to sleep though it wants to sleep against my belly cause I let both of them sleep under the covers and against my side. Now it is against my belly. And must not realize I am pregnant cause thing steps on my stomach and weighs about 20 lbs!
Its weird for me because I never felt the urge to sleep on my stomach until I became pregnant. Now I love it but the baby hates it so when hes mad I move. lol
And I think if i had some one to love on then i wouldn't be as "stressed" as i am...
lol
I totally understand this...I have to have at least three pillows when I sleep. The libido thing sounds familiar too. I feel so bad for my husband because I love him dearly and he is wonderful but I have no desire to have sex.
Hi girls. This is my 3rd baby and I have invested in the pregnancy pillow and so far found it of little help. somebody asked about becoming out of breath when sleeping on their back. This is natures way of telling you to get off your back. You many also notice you start going numb in the legs. Lying on your back especially after 20 weeks squashes one of your major arteries and reduces oxygen flow to the baby. Becoming breathless, dizzy, numb etc is nature telling you to lie on your side. The left side is the safest but it is really hard to do this all night. I flip continually between left and right. Sex drive with this pregnancy is through the roof but I believe this has a lot to do with the fact that I'm not dealing with any toddlers. It has been nearly 10 years since our last baby and therefore I think libido has a lot to do with your current workload as a mum. It is very draining having a little person in the house and being pregnant as well.
You're just so funny. this article really hits close. I've been sleeping on my back but lately found this a little uncomfortable. Just started trying out sleeping on my left side this week but @#$$!!!!! Really wish I could sleep just the way I wanted!
I have no trouble sleeping on my side, but a back injury that's flaring up now does better if I sort of sleep halfway between being on my side and on my stomach. It's hard to explain, but I'm kind of at an angle and the mattress does seem to support my belly this way without my weight being directly on it. Lots and lots and lots of vivid dreams. And my sex drive, which has always been high, is still through the roof. I worry about certain positions, but if we're creative it works out just fine.
The non-existant libido thing....I just had to crack up. I read it to my husband so he didn't feel so alone. I have a friend that is about 8 weeks ahead of me and she says she wants it all the time through her whole pregnancy....makes me start to wonder if she is lying or just blessed. As for the pillow thing....I'm working on finding something that is actually comfortable. Other wise I just wake up 20 times and wine like a little baby. :) I figure God is preparing me for the sleep I will not get when the baby is born.
Thanks for the article
Sorry Gena, I have no idea, you'd have to ask your doctor. I also feel like I could have written this article. I'm only 9 weeks, and I just can't find a comfortable sleep position either. I haven't tried the pillow thing yet but I think I'll try that next. My libido took a hike a long time ago. I haven't really had one since my daughter was born almost 2 years ago. My poor hubby. He's usually a good sport though. I can't complain about that. Good luck everyone and God bless!
I don't think anyone could explain better than you how i feel about sleep.
I couldn't agree more. No libido--I feel so bad for my husband. I try to argue that I deserve atleast 2/3's of the bed since I am after all 2 people but he isn't going for it. We actually had to setup our schedules where we could take shifts sleeping because I am only comfortable when I have the whole bed to myself...lol
so funny, my husband actually said he was jealous of my pillows last night ;-)
I feel like i cant breathe when i lay on my back and my heart is pounding..this even happens when im laying in the bath tub.. does anyone else get this feeling?
My husband likes to sleep with a lot of pillows as well, and since I took all of his he waits until I go to sleep at night and then steals a few from me : p haha I always wake up and give him a big smack before returning the pillows to their "rightful owner"!
LMAO...that part about the entourage of pillows was hilarious. too too funny.
I agree with the non existent libido. I am having a boy and I wonder if that has something to do with it. I wasn't this bad when aI was pregnant with my daughter. I guess there is only room for one penis
aw man you said it! i feel like i havent slept in months! no wonder pregnant moms are so cranky. screw the hormone excuse, just give me some damn shut eye!
Ha. Libido? What is that? I get dirty looks from my husband all the time. As for the body pillow. My dog sleeps with it on the floor now.
I love your article because you nailed it on the head. 1st off, I have all these people who are not pregnant telling me to buy the pillow, but so far I've been doing okay with my own pillows in all the places you named. So no, I won't be spending money on a pillow that will only make it to the closet and instead using it on a cute little outfit or something. And 2nd, whoever said I would be craving some loving is a liar because I haven't wanted to touch anything but my pillow since I became pregnant, lol.
I was laughing the whole time I read this as if I wrote it myself. Thank goodness I was 2 seconds from opting for that silly body pillow. I see I should just save my money and suffer or gather pillows from all over the house! LMAO
Yes it is hard to get comfortable when you are pregnant, but, I just wonder what your dermatologist had to do with anything?! Maybe your Obgyn might not have been happy with it but dermatologist?????
I have a body pillow. I curl it around my back an my head. Part lays agaisnt my back, part under my head, and I have one hand under it, just like I've always slept. I then have a nice flatish pillow under my tummy and sometimes another flatish one between my knees. Thats what works for me. I just got the best body pillow though, it looks like suade and costs $14 from wally world, but omg, your head hits that thing and your out!!!
Amen sister!!! I could have written that except that my hubby loves my preggy pillow and keeps stealing it!!! lol. Oh well, it's a good thing that I have 5 other pillows! :P
I AM 23 WEEKS ALSO and I actually loves sleeping on my stomach thats the only way i can fall asleep or atleast half way on my stomach.
I am 23 weeks today with my second child, also a girl, and yes having the same problem with the belly! I no longer sleep on my belly because I am afraid of harming my baby... To answer STORMY yes I feel the same way ( I do feel weird to think about my hubbys body parts touching my baby girl's space ) So yup my libido is very much gone.
Take care girls -GOOD LUCK-
I am pretty big for 23 weeks. I needed some kinda support for my belly. I found out that the squissy pillow helps a lot. It just conforms to my body curves,has just the right amount of support, light weight and great for hugging.As for the pillow between legs I just use a big piece of stiff sponge from joanne fabrics wrapped up in a towel.It retains its shape and also massages my inner thighs. Not to mention much lighter and less bulkier when you have to change position.
I also sleep over my belly i try not to, but is something i can't control it. I sometime feel guilty because i think i am harming the baby, but the other day i asked my doctor and she said it was ok. But I don't know for how long it still ok. She told me that the baby would let me know when is time to get i new position. And about the libido thing, many times i heard that pregnant woman had a very strong libido, but i don't know what happen with mine because I don't even want to be kissed. I don't lubricate, i can't feel anything, and i don't wanna even think about having sex.
I loved this article. I bought a body pillow instead of the one made specifically for pregnancy. It was wonderful. My husband even liked it. Until it went flat. Now it's just a nuisance. As for the libido, mine is still pretty strong. The vivid dreams help. Unfortunately I'm on bedrest, so I can't do anything about it.
I'm rolling with laughter, my husband and I just had this conversation last night. I sleep two pillows normally and just bought a third last week, not to mention the throw pillow I've snagged from the couch. While getting ready for bed last night I noticed that two were missing. He tried to blame it on our two year old, but I think he secretly took them off the bed hopeing I'd forget about them.
Well I see I'm not the only one who still sleeps on their stomach at 23 wks. pregnant. I get scared sometimes b/c I think it's gonna hurt the baby. I try to get comfortable in another position but laying on my stomach is the only comfortable position I can get sleep in. I'm still not sure if it will hurt the baby or not. Does anyone know?
So VERY true! I know my pillow takes up a good portion of the bed (along with my half out of the middle), but so far my husband has been a good sport about it. I bought a wild tie-dyed pillow case and we decided that my pillow looks like a hippie chick. We've so appropriately named her Sunflower Earthchild. It's a good thing she likes to snuggle too! :)
I _love_ my body pillow. You can lay it down any way you feel like. I have had it since I was pregnant with my son in 2000 and I'm using it for Nr.2 now. You can lay it in a kind of O and lay on your belly that way (the belly obviously goes in the center of the O). I'm "only" 20 weeks, but I feel like I'm pretty huge already, I don't think I was this big at 20 weeks with my son.
Also, for me it's comfortable to have the pillow on my side and one leg goes on top of it, one below, I fold over part of the top end for my head and I can read comfortably with my book propped up in the pillow, too.
yeah i was a belly sleeper too, and no matter how hard i try, everytime i go on my side, i end up back on my belly...i found a great fix for it though. i just lay my upper body on my husband so my belly hardly touches the bed...it works for me, not sure if he gets much sleep, havent heard complaints though
I am also a belly sleeper, so i rearange myself, not to mention my pillows about 100 times a night and finally get comfortable about 30 seconds before my alarm goes off!!!
But as far ad libido goes i got lucky and can't get enough, I guess that makes my husband lucky too, at first i worries about scarring my baby for life but then my doctor explained that it would kindof be like rocking her to sleep In her little waterbedroom.
Im running into the same problem. I love sleeping on my belly! I have found that a nice pice of memory fome helps cushon my hips while on my side and a good ol 10$ body pellow makes a wold of diferance. As for the libido, its there for me I just cant get around the thought of my husbands......
"parts" invading my baby girls pace. Has anyone else had this problem or is it just me???
i can relate to the discomfort of trying to get to sleeep. the things we go thru to have children...lol
This is the first article that is so true....except I just bought a preganancy pillow so we will see how that goes. As far as the nonexistent libido..you couldnt be more on track..my poor hunny!