The Sarcastic Journalist is a freelance writer and mother of two living near Houston, Texas. She has a degree in journalism and an addiction to magazines. She is hoping never to experience the "joy" of pregnancy again. You can find much more of her home-grown snark at: shenuts.com
In addition to recounting 40 not-so-glowing but hilarious weeks of her pregnancy for our pregnancy calendar the Sarcastic Journalist used her sarcasm super-powers to help make our new edgy sarcastic pregnancy tickers. Check 'em out!
People are always waiting for “the right time” to have a baby. It’s always something: You don’t have enough money; your spouse doesn’t have the “right” job. Your house is too small, your butt's too big and your ability to handle the smell of someone else’s poop is oddly nonexistent.
What most people don’t realize is that there isn’t a “right time” to have a baby. You can’t plan a baby like you would a bikini wax. Even if you decide to “try,” things have a magical way of popping up and ruining your plans.
For me, it was “stomach problems” for my husband. After finally weaning my daughter, I had begun to ovulate. Trying to control nature and have my baby during a few select “perfect weather” months, I felt determined to get pregnant.
My husband’s body had other plans: He ended up in the emergency room. I wouldn’t consider myself a very “frisky” person normally. Why would I? I had a nine-month-old at the time and was tired. But, I wanted that second baby and I didn’t want to have it during the summer.
So, I tried my best to convince my husband, still hunched over in pain, that a good romp in the sack would cure all his problems. Yes, I knowingly tried to seduce someone who had given himself an enema earlier in the day.
Desperate times call for (really) desperate measures.
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That is freaking hilarious, but I wish you and your hubby the best.
Thats to funny =] I was always told when you want something bad enough you have to do whatever it takes
HAHAHA!!! That is too hilarious.
I kinda want to say that the Beth chick who said this was harsh should get a sense of humor. I mean really, whens a better time to get a laugh in other than when your hormones are going to be raging for months on end. :)
I agree with u 100% on the fact that having a baby is never the right time and u can never say i am 100% ready for this !
My boyfriend wanted to have sex a day after he came out of the hospital for a stab wound. Even though he was in pain he wanted it. At first I was hwsistant, naturally because of his health, but I later gave in because he was getting upset. I wanted him to be happy. lol.
I agree with you on one thing. There is never really a right time. So go for it. And Bethany yes I have heard men complaining about having sex. Especially if it's day in and day out and every night. Don't forget men are lazy. ;)
Well I wouldn't say that we wanted another baby. I did but my husband was another story. He said we were done. Surprise, we're on baby #3!!
haha! that's kinda funny.. horrible but funny!
That's not harsh, have you ever really heard a guy complain about having to have sex?
when we wanted our first baby we had try and not know that we were already pregnant, my husband got really sick and ended up in the hopital. I was lucky that I was already pregnant because he wanted nothing to do with me for quiet some time.
THATS HARSH I WOULD NOT DO THAT TO MY BOYFRIEND
I thought the last paragraph was laugh-out-loud-hilarious!!!!
As my husband would say, 'bring it on. I'm sick, not dead!'
for some people an enema is erotic and highly sexual!