The Sarcastic Journalist is a freelance writer and mother of two living near Houston, Texas. She has a degree in journalism and an addiction to magazines. She is hoping never to experience the "joy" of pregnancy again. You can find much more of her home-grown snark at: shenuts.com
In addition to recounting 40 not-so-glowing but hilarious weeks of her pregnancy for our pregnancy calendar the Sarcastic Journalist used her sarcasm super-powers to help make our new edgy sarcastic pregnancy tickers. Check 'em out!
Week 18 : Nine months and still confused
I made the mistake during my first pregnancy of trying to guess how many “months along” I was. It seems simple, right? Nine months in a pregnancy.
But not everyone thinks that way. Some say ten. Some say nine. Some, like me, say too many.
Go to any pregnancy website or message board and there will be twenty women with twenty different responses to how far along you are.
You are four months, no wait, five. Well, actually, four and a half, unless you’re going by the Ancient Mayan Calendar, which then, you’re really in your fifth year. Also, it turns out that you’re carrying an elephant. Congrats!
The problem lies in the fact that not every month is four weeks long. Some people, like me, don’t really care about that fact and just “round up” to the next month along once you hit four weeks.
Then there are the people like my husband that always reminded me that I wasn’t as far along as I thought.
Would you really tell someone that is running a marathon “Hey. I know you thought you were at mile 20, but it’s really mile 16. There’s a discrepancy in the counting system. Anyway, it all evens up at the end. Oh, and by the way, watch that hill on the last mile. It’s a killer!”
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Oh people do that to me all the time it's so rude!
Comment on 29th Aug '06 @ 4:14 pmThis comment is 1
I won't tell people they're wrong unless they ask, but I do count months by the calendar. Sure if you're 4 weeks pregnant you can round up to a month- it's only a few days away. But if you're 36 weeks pregnant, you're eight months, not nine. Just look at a calendar. Pregnancy is nine months, not ten. Maybe some people feel you should be able to tell people you're however far along you want but I think we should give people an accurate answer. Besides, if you're 36 weeks pregnant and tell people you're nine months, they're sure going to be surprised if you don't deliver for another four (or five or six) weeks. Save yourself a lot of annoying phone calls "just to say hi" (yeah right) by telling people when you're actually due (or, better yet, if you're going to stretch it, tell them you're due later than you are.)
Comment on 30th Sep '06 @ 10:13 pmThis comment is 1
This article is so fitting; I was just thinking about this the other day! In my "What to Expect" book, month 5 starts at week 18. On BabyCenter.com, month 5 starts at week 20. I usually just tell other people how many weeks along I am, but when someone else tells me they're "6 months", I wonder "what does that mean?!" LOL
Comment on 11th Oct '06 @ 11:34 amThis comment is 1
I am currently visiting my mother and stepfather in the UK and wow did we all get into an arguement over weeks and months. Obviously my mother and I count by the weeks was trying to explain to the male of the conversation that i was due in march even though i was already 18weeks!! he said no if that was the case i was due in feb.. it all got quite tense!!! ultimately does it matter how we count Doctors count by weeks as so do i but to aid those friends who want to know i say months...it doesn't matter which one anyone uses just as long as your doc and you know when the bundle is arriving!
Comment on 25th Oct '06 @ 4:03 amThis comment is 1
When people ask I usually say it in weeks, then they'll have that thinking look on their faces, which means they are trying to guess in months. I haven't had any problems! :)
We count in weeks since the first day of the last period, so a whole pregnancy lasts 40 weeks (+-2), some other count 38 weeks from the date of conception... decisions, decisions...
Comment on 21st Nov '06 @ 4:14 amThis comment is 1
PEOPLE CONFUSE ME ABOUT HOW LONG I AM.AND THE NET DOES TOO.ALL I STICK TO IS THAT THE BABY WILL BE BORN IN THE BEGGINING OF MAY.THIS BEING MY FIRST BABY,EVERYTHING IS CONFUSING!!!
Comment on 22nd Dec '06 @ 2:24 pmThis comment is 1
This is a great talk .... i love it i remember when my sister was pregnant she went by the 10 month calender and i thought ok thats fine and thought hey i will do it that way but i dont think it works like that i agree with erin go by the celender that you can by in a store :)
Comment on 15th Jan '07 @ 3:58 pmThis comment is 1
Hehe this is funny I feel the same way, my sister for example is an unexperience first time mother..and she thinks she knows everything when she can't even take care of my nephew....she says you're actually pregnant for 10 months...I just ignore her..I don't know either but I think its nine months just because like others said some months have 4 others 5 weeks...so I just go by weeks...people laugh at me sometimes when I say I don't know how many months I am but I'm 17 weeks now!!!
Comment on 22nd Jan '07 @ 12:54 pmThis comment is 1
Oh, the worst is when I was at my in-laws and I'm asked the wonderful question "How far along are you now?" and I replied "oh...4 months!". My husband decides to correct me in front of everyone, naturally. He filled me in that I'm not that far along at all. I felt so incompetent in my counting abilities that I just snapped, "I think I am aware of how long I've been carrying this thing!!" haha (hormones are fun!). Come to find out I was wrong...haha...
Comment on 23rd Jan '07 @ 11:44 amThis comment is 1
I'm confused about this too! I wouldn't really be worried about it, but I bought one of those tag plates for my car and I'm counting down "Mommy in ? months". As of right now I'm 18 weeks (Due July 7th) so how many months should I have listed? This has baffled me for over a month now and everyone keeps asking when I'm going to fix it. lol.
Comment on 3rd Feb '07 @ 6:11 pmThis comment is 1
Tell me about it!!! This is the worst...I'll have people ask me how far along I am, and I tell them in weeks and they look at me confused. I have to then try to calculate the months...NEVER works! I have one of the pregnancy tickers (which does kind of help) that says I am in my 5th month, and I'm really around 4 and a week or so......AHHH!!! I'm very much just sticking to weeks! haha.
Comment on 23rd Feb '07 @ 12:33 pmThis comment is 1
hehe, this is great, I too am faced with the challenge of people (mostly inlaws) being confused by my telling them that I am 35 weeks, so then I just say that she is due march 28 and I have a month left. BUT, it is my first and does anyone really deliver on their supposed "due date" anyhow? congrats to all
Comment on 26th Feb '07 @ 2:23 pmThis comment is 1
i'm 18 weeks along. am i at 4 mos or 5 mos? does it matter? all i know is that i'm all hips and belly! getting use to counting by weeks and not months is confusing as hell!
Comment on 2nd Mar '07 @ 2:27 pmThis comment is 1
Yes you are pregnant for about 9 months.if you equal it out there are about 4 and a half weeks in a month. But as long as you know when your due date is why does anyone elses thoughts matter. Figure it out so that it makes sense to you. It doesn't matter if it makes sense to the rest of the world. Nothing ever does. So why should it matter what way you count it.
Comment on 15th Mar '07 @ 5:46 pmThis comment is 1
I have a mom who was an OBGYN nurse for all her career and I still can't change weeks to months. You are pregnant until the beginning of your 10th month. A full 9 months. My husband likes to point out that we are actually 2 or 3 weeks less pregnant due to the way they calculate it from our LMP. When we had our 1st kid, we got pregnant on our honeymoon. My LMP was before our wedding so for the first few months of our marriage he would not let me tell how many weeks or months I was, just when I was due. He thought people would think we got pregnant before we were married and had to get married. So I had to tell them, November until about half through the pregnancy. It cracks me up now, but I was so mad back then. :)
Comment on 16th Mar '07 @ 12:29 pmThis comment is 1
This is so funny!! I just told my husband, "Hey!! This page says I'm in my 5th month now!" :) I was all excited and he said, "No, you're not, you're only 4 months pregnant." I read the entire article on the page then saw this story and I had to post. I thought it was so funny, I read it to him and had to post. Thanks for writing this. :)
Comment on 25th Mar '07 @ 7:16 amThis comment is 1
I count by using the calendar also. I agree with zoe otto. As long as your doctor and you know when the baby arrives, that is all that matters. Congratulations to all the mothers to be. :)
Comment on 11th Apr '07 @ 1:09 pmThis comment is 1
Ok, how about being told that you are a whole month off! When I was pregnant, I was told that I was due on May 7th, and then at about 20 weeks or so(I don't even know for sure, it's so confusing!), the dr said, "oh, didn't the ultrasound tech tell you? I looked at your ultrasound and it looks like you aren't as far along as we thought. You're NEW due date is June 1" uuurrgh...
Comment on 18th Apr '07 @ 9:17 amThis comment is 1
I have a question on due dates in general.. I didn't know a definite "first day of last period" date. So i estimated out of memory. In my first doc apnt, they used that estimated date as a predictor for the Due Date. Then, when I had my Full Fetal Exam, the measurements predicted a much sooner Due Date. But the funny thing is, when I asked the radiologist whether I should now start saying my Due Date is the new, sooner one - she said no and to stick with the original date. Does that make sense?
Comment on 25th Apr '07 @ 2:01 pmThis comment is 1
I had the same thing told to me! I just go by what the ultrasound said. I dont remember the exact date of my last missed period, so I think the ultrasound is more accurate! This is my second pregnancy, and it's still very confusing! The whole month week thing!?! Im 18 weeks...so I'm in my 5th month!? I dont know! Lol!
Comment on 31st May '07 @ 7:59 pmThis comment is 1
I know exactly how that goes...I stayed so confused my first pregnancy. This time I normally just tell people how many weeks I am instead of months.
Comment on 1st Jun '07 @ 8:30 pmThis comment is 1
I have always told people how far along I am in weeks and people just look at me trying to figure out what that means. So I figured that I would just tell people how many months I was and skip the middle step. I was going by my "What to Expect" book and told my Grandmother I was four months at 14 weeks. She just kept trying to figure out if 14 weeks was actually four months. It was really irritating to just stand there and be corrected on MY pregnancy. Now I just politely say I'm 16 weeks and leave it at that
Comment on 6th Jun '07 @ 8:17 amThis comment is 1
Yeah I've had similar issues...this is my second child so I kinda got use to it with the first, I usually tell people "I'm about __ months" they don't usually ask many questions after that! Right now I am at about 18 weeks give or take a day or two!
Comment on 6th Jun '07 @ 10:29 amThis comment is 1
That is exactly what seems to happening. Very well written, spot on.
Comment on 21st Jun '07 @ 2:15 pmThis comment is 1
That is exactly what seems to happening. Very well written, spot on.
Comment on 21st Jun '07 @ 2:16 pmThis comment is 1
Oh yea, this article is GREAT. I am 31 weeks along as of tomorrow and I've completely given up on figuring the months. When people ask how much longer I say "around 2 months" but that's because the average person can't count weeks and they are irrelevant in this case anyway, so easier to prevent the response that follows, "so... that's... let's see..."
Comment on 3rd Jul '07 @ 4:30 pmThis comment is 1
I love that little article. It is cute and soo true!!!
Comment on 5th Jul '07 @ 2:52 pmThis comment is 1
ja. i love this article, that is the exact same predicament i am in!! I tell people one thing and my partner tells them another, so i've resorted to just using weeks...i am currently 16 weeks pregnant and that's all i know (is it four months?)
I love the article!
Comment on 14th Aug '07 @ 2:04 pmThis comment is 1
Love the article!! How true. Add to this the difference between LMP date and gestational age???? I've also resorted to just using weeks which brings up another question. Are you 18 weeks as the week starts or after the 18th week ends. I'm at the end of 17 weeks and beginning of 18 weeks. How about "I'm pregnant." lol
Comment on 22nd Aug '07 @ 9:20 amThis comment is 1
Pregnancy is 40 weeks. If you look at it that way, you will not be confused. You start counting from your missed period. Whatever the case...40 weeks, 9 months..IT'S JUST WAY TOO LONG.
signed
5 Months to go.
Comment on 29th Aug '07 @ 12:11 pmThis comment is 1
I looked on the internet to see how many months I am. It seemed that every website I went on everyone was leaving comments like "Are you stupid" or my favorite "If you cant count how many months you are should you really be having a baby?" How rude!!
Comment on 24th Sep '07 @ 8:36 pmThis comment is 1
Girls, you are mostly wrong. Pregnancy is counted from your last period, not from the last missed period. With months is even easier. Doctor counts your due date, as 9 months from week after that day. So, if it’s 9 months from, for example 21st August, then, your month starts from 21st, every month. So, for the people asking, just look at the calendar, and you’ll know, how long you are. Sorry for if any mistakes, cause English is not my first language.
Comment on 21st Nov '07 @ 2:51 amThis comment is 1
Am I the only one remembering that one month is one moon cycle?
The "9 month pregnancy" has been known since long before our modern calendars, it refers to mooncycles, and means "about 9 mooncycles, give or take a little".
So no matter how you count, even if you count by the moon, the days or the hour, it's never going to bee 100% accurate, as there's always some give-and-take involved.
Our calendar is made up to be as accurate as possible compared to how long it acctually takes for the earth to do a full trip round the sun, and it's about a wuarter of a day short. That's why, every fourth year, there's and extra day in February, to make up for that quarter of a day every year. Without that, we'd eventually have february in the middle of the summer :P
So, how far along are you? About the length you feel is correct. Neither you, your doctor or any other can always be sure exactly when the baby will pop out anyways. How often do we hear about women giving birth on the date they get at their first doctors appointment?
Comment on 2nd Dec '07 @ 10:23 amThis comment is 1
I'm not sure what the confusion is....if you start a new job on December 1st....when do you say that you have worked there a month, after December 31st right? It's the same with making a baby. At 4 weeks you have completed a month of pregnancy so you are 1 month pregnant. Same goes for the fourth, fifth and sixth month. When you are 16 weeks, you have completed 4 months of pregancy and on week 17 you are starting the 5th month. If everyone agrees that pregnancy is 40 weeks, then how many times does 4 go into 40 evenly? 10 right? So you would be due at the beginning of the 10th month or once you have COMPLETED 9 months of pregnancy. THAT is how you count.
Comment on 28th Dec '07 @ 12:09 pmThis comment is 1
I agree with confused07. That is how I count as well. If I even try the months thing, I get really confused. Let's see what my doctor will say. I am curious to see if I counted right.
Comment on 5th Jan '08 @ 1:24 pmThis comment is 1
I have to agree 100% with the sarcastic journalist, as this is our second "surprise" pregnancy, and I'll be honest I never wanted children in the first place, I can understand why she feels the way she does. First I have to say don't get me wrong I would do anything for my son, he is my joy and I was sooo happy once I had him, but let me tell you if I had my way, I wouldn't have number 2 on the way! They just wouldn't comply and tie, snip, clip burn or remove my uterus. I tried trust me. Seriously though, you dont have to be exact on the date, Confused07 is right, if your 17 weeks your in your 5 month so for the next 4 weeks your atleast 5 months along. I stopped trying to figure it out because my days have been so random, June 23rd, July 5 June 30th yeah and im only between 15-19 weeks.
Comment on 22nd Jan '08 @ 6:24 amThis comment is 1
My hubby and I just got into a fight about this. I was commenting that I didn't consider myself 4 months until week 16 but that the book "What to Expect..." says month 4 is measured from weeks 14-17. I said it wrong though and said something like "wow, accoding to this book I am almost 5 months" because I was 17 weeks at the time. We then proceeded to get into a huge argument because he thought I was saying I really was 5 months already at only 17 weeks. I wish I could ahve found this article at that time. i will be showing it to him when he gets home thats for sure!!
Comment on 28th Jan '08 @ 8:47 amThis comment is 1
you know, I'm just tired of counting all together..when the baby comes, it'll come. But untill then, I'd like to just focus on it's health and mine...besides thats all that really matters.
My doctor says I'm 18 weeks, however 18 weeks ago I wasn't gettin down with any man. Honestly, I should be about 21..but that don't seem to matter to anyone but myself. It's all about "what the doctor says." Well some doctors are full of it.
Comment on 3rd Feb '08 @ 3:21 pmThis comment is 1
Well i'm 19 weeks as of tomorrow - i keep telling people i am almost 4 and a half months. I figure 20 weeks is the half way point, not sure what i'll be telling people when i'm 25 weeks though????
Comment on 9th Feb '08 @ 10:08 amThis comment is 1
Lol I count it from the day of conception, and so do my midwives. Since I know exactly when I conceived, that's easy. I try to stay on top of my period and ovulation times. A lot of times, the doctor doesn't know because the conception date actually depends on what the particular woman's cycle is like.
Comment on 25th Feb '08 @ 6:24 amThis comment is 1
I have premmie babies, and once youve had one, they count every day. At the moment, Im 17 weeks and 4 days. Every day has a developmental milestone, and every day matters. So My due date means nothing to me. When the time comes for my "Nugget"to arrive, all that matters is if her lungs are developed enough to breathe unassisted. Here in West Australia, they count from the first day of your last menstrual cycle...Ive been give 4 EDD's and they all mean absolutely nothing!
Comment on 28th Feb '08 @ 8:02 pmThis comment is 1
My first pregnancy I signed up on a online website and it "calcualtes your due date based on the 1 day of your last period"At the doctors office they would ask me how far along I was I would say 16 and they would tell me well honey your actually 15...weeks well fine.
Thing is they all agreed on when I was due.This time around I thougth I sign up for all pregnancy websites I could find and they all agree I change week on Wednesday same day as my first day of last period.However the UK site is a week less along even with the same due date as the US sites.
Ok their thing is that since you have not conceived
while on your period they say your a week less.
However the fetal growth charts they use are the same as the US this was annoying until I read the fine print that said that fetal development is not exact and could actually vary a bit and I had to come to the realization that keeping track of this week vs next is kind of silly.The baby usually knows when it's time.However for us that feel like
jumbo the second time around and I say I am not even 15 weeks I got 6 months to go It's such a downer to have some nurse take away a week from your achievement.
Comment on 11th Mar '08 @ 9:37 pmThis comment is 1
The way to easiest count is
1.first day of your last period.
if it fell on a Monday you will be 1 week along
next Monday +1 every Monday after that.
To dabble in conception is not so easy since your
actual ovulation could be + and - days any way.
Doctors use ultra sound to measure the fetus
(and date conception and due date based on it it's more accurate first trimester)
and luckily for me my firs born was 2 days over
expected due date.
My second child is according to ultra sound due Sept 8 and according to first day of last period Sept 10.
I was also certain that the doctor was wrong I think it's normal especially the first pregnancy
and also if it's unplanned.
Comment on 11th Mar '08 @ 9:51 pmThis comment is 1
Thats is why alot of people go by weeks..
You really are actually pregnant for 10 months.
I am 18 weeks pregnant. A calender month has 4 weeks, some have more days which add up to the 10th month. Its that simple people..But congrats to everyone having a little one ;)
Comment on 14th Mar '08 @ 5:03 pmThis comment is 1
i'm 18 weeks, 5 months right? oh now..my fiance says i'm only 4 months..waht?
Comment on 15th Apr '08 @ 6:41 amThis comment is 1
We have absolutely no clue how far along I am. 1st ultrasound tech "survey says": 8 weeks....three months later they are telling me that I'm at 18 weeks... (where did the math come into play there?) There is a 1-2 week discrepency here and I don't know what to tell people! :-) I've just started telling people "the baby is due the third week of september..." because the us tech and the doc canNOT agree on a due date...its very confusing!!! (and my sis claims pregnancy is ten months anyway...since WHEN???)
Comment on 7th May '08 @ 10:21 amThis comment is 1
dude i hate that stuff im couting by my weeks because everything else is too damn confusing to me for working out the dates so whatever to the rest cause im 18weeks so t.s to those who say anything different!
Comment on 15th May '08 @ 9:29 amThis comment is 1
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