Let’s hear it for the boys (and my fat butt)

Everything changes the second the double lines appear on the home pregnancy test. You are no longer you. You are now a pregnant woman. And apparently you are now available for public pestering regarding everything to do with pregnancy. That’s right: the tiny baby in your belly makes women around the world believe they can give you advice.

My personal favorites happen to be the old wives tales. It’ll happen at least once; you’ll be standing in line at the store and an older lady will approach you. She’ll tell you that since you’re packing on pounds in your rear that it is “a boy!”

Wait. Did she just tell you that your butt is fat?

Yes, and she feels she has the right to do so. Why? Because you are pregnant!

When else could someone comment on the width of your nose (if it has spread, it is a boy) or the size of your breasts (bigger means girl!) than when you are with child?

What better time to assault a woman than when she is pregnant, hormonal and changing daily? Most of us are either too shocked or too polite to tell these women where they can take their advice.

Next time one of these ladies points out that “the little girl in there has stolen all your looks,” pat her on the rear and say “So, I assume you’re due with your little boy any day now?