Shop till you drop (your pants)

I started buying maternity clothes the second my pants felt a little tight. It didn’t matter that the reason they were tight was that I had just consumed a large meal; I was pregnant and needed an entire new wardrobe!

Only problem? All those large jeans belly panels aren’t meant for a 10 weeks pregnant woman that consumed an entire cake because “the baby needed it.”

Shopping at a maternity store before you’re really showing is somewhat embarrassing. It’s kind of like all those times I bought bridal magazines without a ring on my finger: You know most people think you’re just jumping the gun.

Every time I’d walk into one of those establishments, I’d try my best not to make eye contact with the women with big bellies. Even though, in theory, we belonged to the same club, it seemed they were a little more qualified to search for pants with belly panels than I.

But, what’s a girl to do? Invest in a nine-month supply of sweatpants? Walk around with my pants unbuttoned, just waiting for the day they fall down to my knees?

No, I’d buy my pants and try them on with the “fake belly” pillows they leave in the dressing rooms.

Just don’t ask me to model my new outfits outside for everyone to see.