The Sarcastic Journalist is a freelance writer and mother of two living near Houston, Texas. She has a degree in journalism and an addiction to magazines. She is hoping never to experience the "joy" of pregnancy again. You can find much more of her home-grown snark at: shenuts.com
In addition to recounting 40 not-so-glowing but hilarious weeks of her pregnancy for our pregnancy calendar the Sarcastic Journalist used her sarcasm super-powers to help make our new edgy sarcastic pregnancy tickers. Check 'em out!
Week 1 : The Trying Game
I’ve always felt kind of weird when someone told me they were “trying” to have a baby. To me, informing someone about the purpose of your bedroom activities is a major no-no.
I don’t mind thinking about babies, or even the desire to have one. But for some reason, the second someone tells me she is going “off the Pill” to “start trying,” well, I freeze up.
Babies are sweet. Pregnancy is beautiful. How you get pregnant? Well, there’s an entire film industry devoted to that process.
I’m a visual person with an active imagination. It doesn’t matter how you put it, my mind will go there. For the longest time I couldn’t help but snicker when I saw a pregnant lady walking down the street.
So let’s just say I’m always surprised when people tell their parents of their plans. “Hey Mom, sorry we can’t stay for dessert. We’re trying for a baby and I have a can of whipped cream in the fridge with my name on it.”
| comments (60) | next week >> | |
I totally understand where your coming from. I love the fact that im having this beautiful baby girl but hate the fact of how she was made. Sounds were but its not! I hate looking at these pregnant girls and thinking of how they got that why. And the younger ones are the worst to think about. I dont ever wanna think about my daughter having sex. I dont know how the day shes comes to me to tell me shes having a baby scares me to death!!!
Comment on 22nd Nov '06 @ 9:47 pmThis comment is 1
your obviously insecure, how old are you 10? 12? come on its a fact of nature get used to it, and as for telling your family your tryng for a baby a large population of married (and unmarried) couples do that so in other words your kind of contridicting your self there and laughing at a pregnant woman because you know what they have been doing jeez grow up, get used to it its not like its a new thing or nothing its been going on for billions of years!
Comment on 24th Nov '06 @ 5:03 pmThis comment is 1
You must be very childish... I just adore pregnant ladies... it is such a miracle to think that she's carrying another life. And the best part and the most wonderful that is always fun making babies. Imagine how boring it would be if we could take a tablet or stand in the wind to be pollinated to get pregnant. It is stunning and well done to everybody that actually plans a family. Everyone else just has an oeps and find it difficult and trapped. Grow up... Get married have lots and lots of sex and when you are ready plan your baby... I can't wait to be pregnant....
Comment on 11th Dec '06 @ 3:31 amThis comment is 1
I think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with telling others your bedroom activities as it is perfectly natural. To be honest, I'm trying to concieve. I like to tell others that we're trying to make a family. You can think what you like, but for me, I really don't mind...
Some people actualy don't mind telling others about their bedroom activities, but some do mind. It is up to you whether you want the world to know or just you.
Next time if someone tells you about their bedroom activities, just imagine it is you!...
Good Luck TTC!
Comment on 13th Dec '06 @ 11:04 pmThis comment is 1
You sound like a complete immature idiot. There is nothing wrong with saying that you are trying. How else where you put on this planet!!!? By the Stork.
Comment on 7th Jan '07 @ 8:50 pmThis comment is 1
thats funny i completely understand where your coming from.....im pretty young and when some says they are trying or they are prego i have to laugh cause my imagination goes wild...haha
Comment on 9th Jan '07 @ 10:22 amThis comment is 1
So it's not me who thinks like this lol! How good it is to see the lighter side of life... its the fact that EVERYONE knows how it happens. The belly is almost like a badge of honour for bedroom antics!
No need to tell anyone your're trying- we'll find out in good time, thank you very much!
Comment on 10th Jan '07 @ 8:23 pmThis comment is 1
I think it's kind of funny. My mind doesn't instantly go there when someond says that, but it has crossed my mind before. I try to make it stop when I think about my parents though....ugh!
Comment on 11th Jan '07 @ 6:43 pmThis comment is 1
so what if a young girl is pregnant. worse things could happen. and the fact tht she is carrying on the pregnancy shows she is facing up to her responsibilities. its a brave thing. im 19 and havin my first.
Comment on 12th Jan '07 @ 5:19 pmThis comment is 1
I also think it is weird to tell people you are "trying". You might as well just say "We need to go home and have sex now!". TMI. All people can think of after you tell them that you are "trying" is you having sex all the time. Why not just say "We'd like to start a family soon"? That would be much preferred.
Comment on 14th Jan '07 @ 11:21 pmThis comment is 1
Well for those of us who don't get knocked up everytime we knock knees TRYING is all we have, I want a baby and it's proving to be harder for us than most, so while i'm trying to get pregnant you can grow up and get over it. or at least TRY to!
Comment on 16th Jan '07 @ 4:51 pmThis comment is 1
I have been TTC for 16 month. I tell people i'm TTC because i got tired of the question "So when are you guys having Kids?" or the worst "So you don't want kids?" I'm not PG and I would rather tell people that "Yes! we are TTC." Than to keep my mouth shut and cry on the inside ever time a someone talks about Children.
Comment on 6th Feb '07 @ 2:29 pmThis comment is 1
HEY IM 19 A REALLY WANT A BABY IM HOPING I AM GOING TO HAVE ONE BUT ITS WAY TO EALY TO KNOW I CANT TELL MY PARENTS UNTIL I KNOW I AM I JUST GAVE IT UP TO MY BOYFRIEND FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IT WAS SO SCARRY
Comment on 9th Mar '07 @ 11:38 amThis comment is 1
I have been with my fiancee for 2 and a half years and living together in rented accomadation together for 2 years. I have passed all my gcse's and have also passed my 2 year college course. My fiance has a full time job and ive had about 5 different part time jobs on and off but i dont have much interest in them and im just desperate for a baby.
I love my fiancee and he loves me but everyone always says yr too young. We are getting married just as soon as we have saved up but i am not in any rush with that aslong as i am with my fiancee thats all that matters. I have wanted a baby for atleast 2 years and its driving me mad and my wanting is getting worse.
I have some baby stuff already collected in preparation but i cant concentrate on anything much these days because all i can think about is having my own baby and i see people with babies and i feel like i will never have my own. My fiancee has said we can have one in about 2 or 3 years but i dont think i can wait that long because it is driving me mad. I dont want hundreds like some people i just want one and i will be happy for a good few years.
What do you think i should do?
:!: :?:
K. x
Comment on 20th Mar '07 @ 7:53 amThis comment is 1
im 18 and having my 1st child and i dont think that there is anything wrong wit a young mother as long as she realizes the responsibilities ahead of her for the next 18 years. and to say that ppl shouldnt say they r trying to have a baby is crazy thats how ppl express themselves n its not their fault that others dont have a mature enough imagination to just say o good luck! i never ever thought of how one of my relatives or friend made a baby when i was told they were preg, mayb thats just my imagination not wanting to go in that far.
Comment on 3rd Apr '07 @ 1:25 pmThis comment is 1
I think that remind me of a middle school aged boy- snickering when you see someone pregnant. My Husband and I are trying- but that shouldn't disgust you- Even if I didn't tell you that we were trying- you can assume that there is something going on in the bedroom. I'm sorry for you inability to handle an adult conversation without giggling-
Comment on 6th Apr '07 @ 2:39 pmThis comment is 1
I know... when I was pregnant with my first baby, I felt like people were looking at me and thinking "I know what you've been doing" and it's weird to think about it...
Comment on 21st Apr '07 @ 12:35 amThis comment is 1
Im 20 and expecting my first and i neva tried to have a baby i was just one of the unlucky few that had contraception fail them. I dont think there is anything wrong with saying that ur trying coz in my mind sex isnt the first thing that pops into my head (which is unusual for my mind) but i actually think "wow great stuff good luck" instead. Howeva when i found out i was pregnant i wasnt bothered about tellin my family i was pregnant i was more thinking "omg now my mum knows ive had sex!" but obviously no1 eva said anything until my dirty minded boss said "haha now we know wot uve been up 2 u dirty cow!"
and with the young girls thing, it doesnt bother me either...unless the girl clearly states she doesnt know who the father is...then it gets kinda bad
Comment on 11th May '07 @ 10:46 amThis comment is 1
I think this childish reaction is right in line with giggling when a guy comes out of the restroom- knowing he just peed and therefore touched himself. Especially funny when you're waiting at a restaraunt and are seated by the restroom. :-) Laugh a little at life!
Comment on 22nd May '07 @ 8:49 amThis comment is 1
if you are not mature enough to deal with this aspect of life you probably shouldn't even be sexually active or thinking about babies, regardless of your age!!! i feel sorry for your children when they come to you for information regarding how they came to be or their curiousity regarding sex, you strike me as the type to vote for school children to be taught abstence and abstence only!!!!! ignorance is not bliss people!!!
Comment on 29th May '07 @ 6:43 pmThis comment is 1
Everyone needs to calm down with the hormones and read her title... "SARCASTIC JOURNALIST".
Comment on 30th May '07 @ 8:34 amThis comment is 1
Wow you know it never really occured to me how childish mothers or soon-to-be mothers could be! You're all snapping at each other like wolves. I'm 23 and pregnant with my second child. My first child was not planned but that doesn't mean I love him any less. This pregnacy is a true blessing because my husband and I have been "trying" for over a year with several miscarriages to count. I think that everyone knows how a child is concieved at this point in our lives. For me a pregnant woman walking down the street, however it is that she became pregnant, is not only a miracle but a beautiful thing. I was raised in a home where sex was not spoken about so I learned from school and friends and everywhere except my family, so I have made up my mind to teach my children myself. I was a young mother with my first,I got pregnant at 18 years old right out of highschool and while I was scared to death I still found it in my self to love my child and grow with my son. I do wish I had waited a little longer to start my family, but now I'm glad for the oppurtunity to be a young parent because I will have more time to enjoy the things my children do! It's not seeing a young girl as a parent that upsets me, its the lack of support she gets from her family once she has told them that she will be a young mother. Its all the children that don't make it to their birthdays because of a lack of information for the young mother! So instead of looking at that teenager that is pregnat and thinking that she opened her legs too soon...try to imagin the hurt and pain she is probably dealing with because a boy told her he loved her and would always be there!
Comment on 6th Jun '07 @ 10:56 amThis comment is 1
Hi, I am Jessica. I am 22, and Married...and newlywed at that March 28th. 6 1/2 wekks pregnant now. Tried for 3 years. Got married and it happend like it was supposed to be this way! :) Ok about the topic here Well...wouldn't you rather tell your baby after it is born that you were trying. I mean a know children who think there were a "mistake" I don't want my child to think that because we did TRY for 3 years and it is finally here. No we didn't tell people we were TRYING and oh yeah we have to go have sex now. I guess I wasn't Trying that hard. Also Congrats to all of the MOTHERS TO BE! :) :)
Comment on 6th Jun '07 @ 12:44 pmThis comment is 1
GIVE ME A BREAK, WE HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR 14 MONTHS, AND I JUST FOUND OUT YESTERDAY I AM PREGNANT, AND I DO NOT THINK IT IS A MAJOR NO NO AT ALL I TELL EVERYONE PLEASE PRAY FOR US TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE, YES I TELL PEOPLE WE ARE TRYING ALL THE TIME, GROW UP PEOPLE, THE BEDROOM IS NOT ALL THE TIME PRIVATE, ESPECAILLY WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO CONCEIVE ON OF GOD'S CREATIONS.
Comment on 7th Jun '07 @ 8:09 amThis comment is 1
I feel the same way. Now, I enjoy the tumble as much as the next person...:-P lol HOWEVER, looking someone in the face and KNOWING they are going home to have hot, wild, panting sex to create a child...that's disturbing unto itself. lol And, fear not, I have an overactive imagination that can't help but go there, either...
Comment on 10th Jun '07 @ 5:41 amThis comment is 1
I'm sorry you feel that way. Maybe it's because your bedroom is so much fun? I know mine is,and I don't mind others knowing that!
Comment on 10th Jul '07 @ 12:15 pmThis comment is 1
I've been trying to have a baby fo9r the passed months been to doctor taking pills to make my alot of eggs and i haven't gotten pregnant my boyfriend has a little girl and we our trying to have a baby together.is it possible that i'm trying to hard and it hasn't happen?i wonna have my own child.
Comment on 16th Aug '07 @ 5:35 pmThis comment is 1
I think the journal entry is great! People just need to calm down!! It is a SARCASTIC journal entry! People get worked up to much!! My husband and I have been trying for a while now to have kis, but its not like I let it be known. If someone were to ask, I would tell them!! Love all your journal entries! they gave me a good laugh! :)
Comment on 22nd Aug '07 @ 2:22 pmThis comment is 1
I guess my feelings on this entry is God made sex not only for pleasure but to make babies. I can understand if a person doesn't want to hear about the details of you trying to concive but having a problem hearing someone say we are trying to have a baby or having a problem looking at a pregnant woman is crazy that is an amazing gift growing inside her womb. Some people have been trying for years and really need someone to talk to or to pray for them theres nothing wrong with that. :)
Comment on 28th Aug '07 @ 10:04 amThis comment is 1
HAHA, wow the women on here are TOUCHY. It's meant to be a joke ladies, come on, did you neglect to read the part about SARCASM in the title, guess so. Than you, please continue to write. It is truly a breathe of fresh air, and I agree, the most awkward moments of my life was telling my parents I was pregnant, even though I am a grown woman, because then they ultimately had to imagine me having sex.
Comment on 22nd Sep '07 @ 10:13 amThis comment is 1
i am the same way my mind just thinks "okay too much info."just tell eveyone your preg. when it happends we dont have to get a visual pic. of it
Comment on 22nd Sep '07 @ 3:27 pmThis comment is 1
I agree with some ladies... Touchy, BUT when I found out that i was pregnant people were like.." I know how that happened" we laugh, joke and get over it. its called humor people!
Comment on 3rd Oct '07 @ 9:22 pmThis comment is 1
only someone with a mind always in the gutter would even conjure up those images.... when someone tells me they are trying for a baby... i immediately imagine that precious child and what it will look like... NOT them getting it on.
maybe you have "sex" problems?
Comment on 14th Oct '07 @ 1:17 amThis comment is 1
I would have to agree with you there. Yeah, its apart of nature. But, really there are some people who don't want to think/know about it. It's the saying, "TMI."
Comment on 25th Oct '07 @ 10:52 pmThis comment is 1
lol i'm 15 and pregnant.. obviously with my first.
(and yes if you have ANYTHING to say about my age.. confront me about it.. because i can give you a million more reasons how this pregnancy has helped me and only a few on how it's made my life more difficult..)
when I first told people I was pregnant, especially my grandparents.. i was like "ew everyone is gonna know i got down and dirty" lol which is a bit embarrassing because people, like me, are very imaginitive (spg?)..... which made me feel a bit uncomfortable. lol
Comment on 27th Oct '07 @ 3:16 amThis comment is 1
Ok tell me this what if someone says "I know how it happened" and laughs. What if this person tried for years and had to do invetro *sp* or something and started crying because of how immature you are for assumeing it's just that easy to get pregnant. You have to think of peoples feelings, and not just your own weird humor.
Comment on 30th Oct '07 @ 4:51 pmThis comment is 1
Wowza. You can tell this is a pregnancy board by all of the hormones just floating around. Not only is it meant as a *sarcastic* piece, but it's also lighthearted. Some of you really need calm down try to enjoy humor in life instead of frittering on about miracles and such. And for those of you protecting the poor women who HAD to try for awhile -- I'm waving my hand as one of them. Had to even have surgery to get knocked up. And I still look at it all with a little gleam of humor. Did we tell people we were trying? Heck no. Didn't want them stealing any of our moves imagining us do our wild hanky panky. And yes, though I'm a college educated, happily married woman with a career and a great grasp on life, when I hear someone's trying, my mind goes there too.
Comment on 1st Nov '07 @ 9:24 amThis comment is 1
I have visited your site 308-times
Comment on 25th Nov '07 @ 5:28 pmThis comment is 1
Yhanks you
d8c151
Comment on 27th Nov '07 @ 9:51 pmThis comment is 1
Hi, my sites:
afbac5e2571d8ce44f9e453d4dc8b3c9
Comment on 21st Dec '07 @ 11:24 amThis comment is 1
Yhanks you
6db6ac372d61169b2778747d77a0bfdb
Comment on 22nd Dec '07 @ 9:24 amThis comment is 1
ok so getting pregnant with my first at 15 may have something to do with it but anytime i hear that someone is trying to concieve i cant help of thinking of porn flicks or one joke i heard from one of my friends who at the time looked like she was about to go into labor at any moment. thats just how my mind works
Comment on 25th Dec '07 @ 8:00 pmThis comment is 1
To me, you sound like you're treating the subject like a grade school child. While people probably shouldn't publicize their bedroom behavior, if they're telling you in particular that they are "going off the pill" it's probably because you are someone they trust and whose opinion they value. Furthermore, despite the fact that I, myself, love having sex, and have no problem sharing that, the biological purpose of it is indeed to create a child. Stop pretending like sex is just supposed to be all fun and games (despite the fact that it often is) until someone wants a child. If you're old enough to be reading this website and can write so eloquently, then there is no reason to be snickering about the pregnant woman. You've probably knocked boots with someone at least a time or two. Sex, being the key to creating life, is just as beautiful as the life itself that is created. You cannot have one without the other. It's just great that even though sex has its beautiful qualities, it's fun too.
Comment on 30th Dec '07 @ 6:28 amThis comment is 1
remove@sa-art.net
Comment on 8th Jan '08 @ 5:31 pmThis comment is 1
remove@sa-art.net
Comment on 8th Jan '08 @ 5:40 pmThis comment is 1
remove@sa-art.net
Comment on 8th Jan '08 @ 6:43 pmThis comment is 1
remove@sa-art.net
Comment on 8th Jan '08 @ 6:53 pmThis comment is 1
A fantastic site, and brilliant effort. A great piece of work. zzAzzXX
Comment on 12th Jan '08 @ 7:14 amThis comment is 1
lngciabfk pwqu ybhapxou jlvuhfwa uqgjcwoer skuzmqewp hwrobv
Comment on 24th Jan '08 @ 10:08 amThis comment is 1
it's name my dad up to and foxes and one day, my in many well home parents neighborhood else
Comment on 5th Feb '08 @ 12:56 pmThis comment is 1
Very nice site!
Comment on 7th Feb '08 @ 2:26 pmThis comment is 1
That gave me the giggles. It sounds like your not to comfortable with your sexuality. Its apart of life.
Comment on 19th Feb '08 @ 9:10 amThis comment is 1
I went from tree to it they had my dad
Comment on 22nd Feb '08 @ 7:30 amThis comment is 1
natural more than we watched pulled in the musician, with whatever
Comment on 22nd Feb '08 @ 7:30 amThis comment is 1
moyvdkuph iqjgtp wumzs bqzk mpce onse eabd
Comment on 29th Feb '08 @ 5:14 pmThis comment is 1
You must be very immature. Or just a sex phene. When I hear about people trying I think of the nine months after. The beautiful baby which will fill the whole house with laughter. Oh and cries.
Comment on 8th Mar '08 @ 2:45 pmThis comment is 1
I can't believe people think it is wrong to let people know that they are trying for a baby!! Why not get them prepared for the next BIG NEWS, WERE PREGNANT! It's all the same, how can you think it is dirty?
Comment on 1st Apr '08 @ 11:52 amThis comment is 1
Hello!
I hankering that chose the faultless subdivision of it for asking your prepare doubts, if not, sorry.
I do not least continually go to the forums. And my, my pull someone's leg doubts is what is:
How do you imagine how sober the question of toll increases, and whether it is practical far-reaching shock,
the actuality that already event, namely: Rising subsistence charges has transformed subsistence into an global gin excess ofnmental issue.
Riots make erupted in Egypt, Haiti and Bangladesh in excess of soaring stuffs guerdons.
People fought one another closed bags of rice in West Africa.
The causes and the solutions to the grub turning-point are complex.
Iif not knotty and you prepare your theory on this, suit come back, I am least interested to listen to your notion.
See you later!
P.S. Sorry for my english.
Comment on 30th Apr '08 @ 2:50 amThis comment is 1
adventures. on me. the tree, up to huge tree he got scissors and went playing
Comment on 5th May '08 @ 11:53 pmThis comment is 1
and we names. to my parents and saw forts trees to ramble and we leaf my dad
Comment on 5th May '08 @ 11:53 pmThis comment is 1
Leave a comment: